Well, things got a hell of a lot more worrying during the last week. She told me straight out that she is thinking about leaving me. She told me that while she is still in love with me, she also has feelings for another guy. She may be moving states and if so I will rarely if ever get to see Anorah. Oh, and she may be pregnant to me.
Last night was good, though. A positive sign; she actually showed affection toward me without me having to prompt her. So, hopefully, things will keep moving in that direction.
Honestly, I hope she isn't pregnant. Not that I don't want another son or daughter; that's always been the plan, albeit a year or two from now was when we were going to start trying. Thing is, I don't want that to be part of her decision whether to stay or go. I want her to make that decision as free of outside influences as possible.
If things continue on as they did last night, I think we'll be okay. I love her enough to forgive the whole contemplating leaving me for another guy thing.
In the meantime, I will continue to do my best for her and Anorah. I will keep trying to take care of her (even if she's not pregnant, she's still sick), I will do my best to give her some rest from the baby when she needs it, I will keep working, this job or any other I can get (the boss ain't real happy with me at the moment, and I'm not liking my job either) to support them. That said, I have also started to do a few things for myself. Haven't really done anything I can think of that was just for me since Anorah was born, or even a little bit before. But now I'm getting back into doing weights, taking care of a few things (boring paperwork stuff) that will make my life a little easier and so on. I feel if I don't take some kind of steps to improve my own situation, that if I do get left on my own, I will have nothing going for me at all.
Still wouldn't call my self optimistic, but at least I'm less pessimistic at this stage. Plus, the whole situation has given me one or two tattoo ideas.
Last night was good, though. A positive sign; she actually showed affection toward me without me having to prompt her. So, hopefully, things will keep moving in that direction.
Honestly, I hope she isn't pregnant. Not that I don't want another son or daughter; that's always been the plan, albeit a year or two from now was when we were going to start trying. Thing is, I don't want that to be part of her decision whether to stay or go. I want her to make that decision as free of outside influences as possible.
If things continue on as they did last night, I think we'll be okay. I love her enough to forgive the whole contemplating leaving me for another guy thing.
In the meantime, I will continue to do my best for her and Anorah. I will keep trying to take care of her (even if she's not pregnant, she's still sick), I will do my best to give her some rest from the baby when she needs it, I will keep working, this job or any other I can get (the boss ain't real happy with me at the moment, and I'm not liking my job either) to support them. That said, I have also started to do a few things for myself. Haven't really done anything I can think of that was just for me since Anorah was born, or even a little bit before. But now I'm getting back into doing weights, taking care of a few things (boring paperwork stuff) that will make my life a little easier and so on. I feel if I don't take some kind of steps to improve my own situation, that if I do get left on my own, I will have nothing going for me at all.
Still wouldn't call my self optimistic, but at least I'm less pessimistic at this stage. Plus, the whole situation has given me one or two tattoo ideas.