Well, Jess and Anorah did come back, but things are not going well at the moment, I'm afraid. As far as I can tell, she's pissed off with me because of my insecurities. I mean, she's really not feeling well at the moment, so that could explain why I seem to be being treated more as a flatmate than a fiancee at the moment, but still, I worry. The baby is really fussy at the moment - probably the horrible heat rash, or maybe she picking up on the tension between me and Jess.
I really do love her. I want to marry this girl. I want to settle down with her and Anorah so that we can have our own little family.
My last post as with regards to a trip away, which was being paid for by a friend of hers. Before she left, the departure date moved forward radically, and the trip went from 3 or 4 days to 5. I was unhappy, because I don't like the idea of either of them being away that long. And because by the time she left, the friend in question still hadn't booked the flight back.
The trip sent me nuts. No two ways about it. I was going out of my head. Every time we spoke, I asked about the flight home... and no, it hadn't been booked. The second night I was told that the trip was now going to be 8 days. By the end of the saga, it was 10.
In the meantime, I nearly lost my job. I work as a contractor for some rather unreasonable people. I work long hours for shit pay. I do enjoy my job, most of the time. But anyway, something got stolen, and I was gonna have to replace it. I could not afford to do this. Luckily, through some street contacts I have helped me get it back from the guy who swiped it, cost me next to nothing.
But since she's been back things have been really strained. For the most part, I don't want to talk about the trip; the last thing I want to do is to relive how I felt during it. Of course, that's probably what's really pissing her off - the feeling that I can't handle her going away for a while. Granted, to a place I've never been, staying with various people, only one of whom I have ever met, and she was out of phone reception most of the time.
I can't help feeling trapped by the whole situation. She tells me to share my feelings, let it out. But when we tried that, she gets pissed off at me and starts yelling.
I don't know what to do. It looks like, as a result of this trip, that there will frequently be more in the offing, and for a more worrying reason. The last thing I want to do is lose her or hurt her. I have litterally remade my entire life around Jess and Anorah. They are the best and most important thing that has ever happened to me.
For now, I'm gonna try the "man-up" approach. Even though she keeps asking me to share what I feel with her, she's not well and very irritable at the moment. Personally, I'm sure these feelings will fade with time, so I figure if I just get home each day with a smile on my face and listen to her and talk to her, I should be able to work my way out of the doghouse. Once that is done, I'm pretty sure I'll start to feel better about the whole thing.
Staying positive.
I really do love her. I want to marry this girl. I want to settle down with her and Anorah so that we can have our own little family.
My last post as with regards to a trip away, which was being paid for by a friend of hers. Before she left, the departure date moved forward radically, and the trip went from 3 or 4 days to 5. I was unhappy, because I don't like the idea of either of them being away that long. And because by the time she left, the friend in question still hadn't booked the flight back.
The trip sent me nuts. No two ways about it. I was going out of my head. Every time we spoke, I asked about the flight home... and no, it hadn't been booked. The second night I was told that the trip was now going to be 8 days. By the end of the saga, it was 10.
In the meantime, I nearly lost my job. I work as a contractor for some rather unreasonable people. I work long hours for shit pay. I do enjoy my job, most of the time. But anyway, something got stolen, and I was gonna have to replace it. I could not afford to do this. Luckily, through some street contacts I have helped me get it back from the guy who swiped it, cost me next to nothing.
But since she's been back things have been really strained. For the most part, I don't want to talk about the trip; the last thing I want to do is to relive how I felt during it. Of course, that's probably what's really pissing her off - the feeling that I can't handle her going away for a while. Granted, to a place I've never been, staying with various people, only one of whom I have ever met, and she was out of phone reception most of the time.
I can't help feeling trapped by the whole situation. She tells me to share my feelings, let it out. But when we tried that, she gets pissed off at me and starts yelling.
I don't know what to do. It looks like, as a result of this trip, that there will frequently be more in the offing, and for a more worrying reason. The last thing I want to do is lose her or hurt her. I have litterally remade my entire life around Jess and Anorah. They are the best and most important thing that has ever happened to me.
For now, I'm gonna try the "man-up" approach. Even though she keeps asking me to share what I feel with her, she's not well and very irritable at the moment. Personally, I'm sure these feelings will fade with time, so I figure if I just get home each day with a smile on my face and listen to her and talk to her, I should be able to work my way out of the doghouse. Once that is done, I'm pretty sure I'll start to feel better about the whole thing.
Staying positive.