Well the party was the mellowest party ever. Not that many people came, and we really just sat around and watched TV. Well we chatted a bit too. I mean it is great to just hang out with friends, but i certainly wouldn't classify what happened as a party. My friend matt came over and was in the mood to actually party, so myself, a friend he brought and my friend becca all ended up going out to Intermissions. It was actually quite uncomfortable for me at first. I don't really go to crowed bars or nightclubs anymore, so it took some getting used to again. Funny, bc when I worked at McGuire's I would do that sort of stuff all the time. The whole "dating dynamic" makes me feel uncomfortable. It is the meat market and who knows what you will get. I do get self-conscious bc there are so many other beautiful girls, even though I know i shouldn't think about that stuff. Then there is the problem of just having a conversation. I love people, and love to meet new people, and just bc i talk to you, doesn't mean I want to fuck you. Sometimes, I honestly just want to make friends. I try to watch my flirting in those cases.
I did meet a guy that night, which said "what if i asked you out on a date? What would you say?" I really liked the guy, not the avg guy one would meet in a bar. I told him i would. He got my number, although he never ACTUALLY asked me out. He said he would call the next day. To my total amazement, he did. He invited me out that night with him and his friends. It was so incredibly uncomfortable. I didn't know where in the hell I fit in. I figured out pretty quickly that i was not on a date. Was this a test? If so, what in the hell where they looking for? So after a while i decided to say screw it, and just acted like myself, and really kinda just hung out. Then I heard it, "Dude, she is so cool, you should hang out with us more!" I am in the friend's zone. Cannot date. I am sure the guy would love a friend with benefits, but that isn't what I want. I don't want to just be used for sex. Done that, time to move on. How sad is it that the last three guys i have slept with have been causal relationships? I want more than that. I deserve more. While yes, I do make an awesome friend; I have another side to me as well. Guess they just don't see that. Oh well, cheers to being single!
I did meet a guy that night, which said "what if i asked you out on a date? What would you say?" I really liked the guy, not the avg guy one would meet in a bar. I told him i would. He got my number, although he never ACTUALLY asked me out. He said he would call the next day. To my total amazement, he did. He invited me out that night with him and his friends. It was so incredibly uncomfortable. I didn't know where in the hell I fit in. I figured out pretty quickly that i was not on a date. Was this a test? If so, what in the hell where they looking for? So after a while i decided to say screw it, and just acted like myself, and really kinda just hung out. Then I heard it, "Dude, she is so cool, you should hang out with us more!" I am in the friend's zone. Cannot date. I am sure the guy would love a friend with benefits, but that isn't what I want. I don't want to just be used for sex. Done that, time to move on. How sad is it that the last three guys i have slept with have been causal relationships? I want more than that. I deserve more. While yes, I do make an awesome friend; I have another side to me as well. Guess they just don't see that. Oh well, cheers to being single!
VIEW 4 of 4 COMMENTS
punkdog:
Being single is nice but after awhile you just want someone. All I have had is casual relationships for a very long time. The whole time I have been in the army so far. And I am finaly ready to find someone. But that is not till I am done here in iraq. So I know how you feel scorpihoe.
mysweetisrael:
I was single for almost all of my life, and for the most part I loved it. It's nice to settle down but it's also nice to be able to follow your whims and experience as many things as you can and meet as many cool people as you can and not be tied down or confined. Freedom means a lot to me and it's why I was single for so long and it's the hardest thing I have to overcome. I'm not a philanderer by any stretch but I often have to remind myself that when I'm talking to a girl I'm not supposed to be thinking, "I'd like to fuck her. I wonder if I could." Enjoy being single.