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if you're making love to music, use a live album cos you get a round of applause every 3 minutes. biggrin
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'Twas the night before Christmas when Santa got ready He'd drink his first shot to make his hands steady He'd load up his sleigh with toys and good cheer, not forgetting his ice chest with a 12 pack of beer He was a jolly old elf and worked with a grin, but remembered the brats then gulped his slo-gin In a drunken stupor...
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A man has gone to A&E (ER) after a bizarre sex game went wrong leaving him with 6 toy horses stuck up his arse. Doctors have described his condition as stable!!!eeek
yowlinyeti:
stable. heh heh. tongue
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If I ever got the chance to name a Road, I'd call it 'Skin Road' Just so I could laugh at the people at number 4. lmaotongue
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A string walks into a bar with a few friends and orders a beer. The bartender says, "I'm sorry, but we don't serve strings here." The string goes back to his table. He ties himself in a loop and messes up the top of his hair. He walks back up to the bar and orders a beer. The bartender squints at him and...
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arethusa:
Looooool
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I said to wife ,bet you can't piss me off and make me happy at the same time,my wife said Your dick is bigger then your brothers eeek
cendres:
lool
aerie:
hahaha
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..Is offline...playing with himself..wait..wait..stop..no..I MEANT to say..BY himself..playing BY himself!!ooo aaa
caia:
wink
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A friend would visit you in jail. A good friend would bail you out. A best friend would be sitting next to you saying, "Same time next weekend?"
tongue
henika:
biggrinbiggrinbiggrin
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Women are like iPhones. You have to touch them all over before they respond. Men are like Blackberries, rub one ball and everything moves. smile
ambz:
Hahaha I fuckin love this! So true tho wink
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Men have two emotions: Hungry and Horny. If you see me without an erection, make me a sandwich. tongue
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A man is in a hotel lobby. As he runs to the front desk, he accidentally bumps into a woman and as he does, his elbow hits her breast. They are both quite startled. The man turns to her and says, "Ma'am, if your heart is as soft as your breast, I know you'll forgive me." She replies, "If your p*nis is...
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daff:
Thanks for the add! Have a nice week!
toxic:
haha that's hillarious!
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scooter's Law in Sex

1.The more beautiful the woman is who loves you, the easier it is to leave her with no hard feelings.

2.Nothing improves with age.

3.No matter how many times you've had it, if it's offered take it, because it'll never be quite the same again.

4.Sex has no calories.

5.Sex takes up...
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