scionreality

Friday night was a birthday party for a member of the band I've been playing with for the last several months. These guys are usually fun to be around and play music with, but I've been preoccupied with how they don't really play in the direction I'd like to go, personally. Last couple of times, though, were far closer.

It's peculiar how hard it is...
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Secrets hold
and are held
until gone
To return when wrong
So why
When we are
before
slaves so long
To return when wrong

...

Hi, I ramble.

...

While talking to a close friend (and ex-girlfriend) recently, it occured to me that while the overt symptoms of a long term depression have been broken away (mostly), and a more subtle layer of behaviors and...
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Things are...

Things are not well.

Beneath the surface.

Ripples. Lazy waves under skin.


[No alarms]

I can't remember if these things get time stamped or not, and I don't feel like checking. It's now 24:17. I got home about five minutes ago from band practice.

The band I've been playing with for around half a year now is... well, the romance is wearing off. They're a decent group of guys, and I've become friends with them, but I'm not satisfied...
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I haven't worked on any of my own music for too long, and I'm starting to really miss it. Especially when contrasted against what I've been doing with the band I'm playing in right now. They're a good group of guys, and I've become friends with them, but they're not a great creative fit.

Anyway, I was listening to some of the things I've got...
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It occurred to me one of these past few nights (which? The divisions join and part like water over glass) that I'm once again getting the feeling of being a player cast in the role of myself, and that every day my performance becomes a little less convincing.

This is especially ponderous when I consider how recently the opposite was the unfamilliar, quietly nervous state....
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Firstly, I will refer to all these entries as having been added to my "B-word", because -that- is one of those words I just hate, irrationally. Like "Bosom". Such an ugly tasting word for such a fantasic thing.

Anyway.

Although I signed up for this account some months ago, I have not since -nor for some months prior- been inclined to write. Anything. No songs,...
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We are much the same
I am eased by your candor
But want your subtlty