You would think that I'd learn.
Life does not always give you good things without some sacrifice in return.
It's either that or I just cannot get ahead in life.
As I was leaving, literally stepping off the porch, to go to work today Melissa stopped me to inform me that she was leaving me (again) and wanted a divorce. According to her there is no blame to lay in the situation. It's just that she's not happy and doesn't think she will ever be happy here. She assures me it's not my fault and she just wants us to be civil and amicable about the whole thing. How very big of her to be that way.
I, on the other hand, want to scream and cry and say terrible things and be pissed off. Of course I am all of those things, just on the inside. I suppose that after she left the first time I should have understood that things couldn't work out for us. What can I say? Love makes me blind AND hard-headed. I just don't understand how someone can not have any concrete reasons for leaving but be so determined and set about doing so. Maybe that's what I have the hardest time with?
These last couple of celibate months she has been biding her time until her brother gets out of prison (Attempted Murder) so she can have a place to stay. Unfortunately that won't be until sometime in June. I have already said that she is not going to be my "roomate". She's got to go. It would drive me insane for her to be here like that for the next couple of months. I don't know what to say. I am beside myself. The obvious thing is to be full of sadness at the loss of my wife leaving me. The problem is that there's a small part of me that sees the light in the fact that maybe this is a good thing in the end. More than one friend has commented that she has been sucking the life and joy out of me for some time now. -acknowledged- I am starting a new job making more $$$ and will finally be able to save alot of it with her not here. -acknowledged- I can move forward on getting my studio space and concentrating on my photography. -acknowledged-
It still hurts. I feel really alone right now. I will miss having someone to hold close and hold me back.
Life does not always give you good things without some sacrifice in return.
It's either that or I just cannot get ahead in life.
As I was leaving, literally stepping off the porch, to go to work today Melissa stopped me to inform me that she was leaving me (again) and wanted a divorce. According to her there is no blame to lay in the situation. It's just that she's not happy and doesn't think she will ever be happy here. She assures me it's not my fault and she just wants us to be civil and amicable about the whole thing. How very big of her to be that way.
I, on the other hand, want to scream and cry and say terrible things and be pissed off. Of course I am all of those things, just on the inside. I suppose that after she left the first time I should have understood that things couldn't work out for us. What can I say? Love makes me blind AND hard-headed. I just don't understand how someone can not have any concrete reasons for leaving but be so determined and set about doing so. Maybe that's what I have the hardest time with?
These last couple of celibate months she has been biding her time until her brother gets out of prison (Attempted Murder) so she can have a place to stay. Unfortunately that won't be until sometime in June. I have already said that she is not going to be my "roomate". She's got to go. It would drive me insane for her to be here like that for the next couple of months. I don't know what to say. I am beside myself. The obvious thing is to be full of sadness at the loss of my wife leaving me. The problem is that there's a small part of me that sees the light in the fact that maybe this is a good thing in the end. More than one friend has commented that she has been sucking the life and joy out of me for some time now. -acknowledged- I am starting a new job making more $$$ and will finally be able to save alot of it with her not here. -acknowledged- I can move forward on getting my studio space and concentrating on my photography. -acknowledged-
It still hurts. I feel really alone right now. I will miss having someone to hold close and hold me back.
Saving cash - very nice.
Studio space - kick ass!
Moving toward divorce - ouch. Been there - not fun.
Would it make you feel better if I found you some pretty ladies to capture beautiful images of?
Call me anytime, bro.