I haven't felt like masterbating lately, does that mean there's something wrong? I don't believe so but some do. It's happened before and I didn't find it to be unusaul. I guess the only reason it's become an issue is because I've said something this time. This has nothing to do with my desire for sex. Actually, I still think about sex a good majority of the day, but I find it a bit hollow to please myself. There's no one there. I'd feel better if George were watching me even, but just for myself, doesn't seem fun right now. I want to have sex, I want to have crazy wild sex with my hubby, but the requires two now doesn't. I tried to masterbate just cuz and sure it felt good but I just felt even more alone afterward. See, hollow joy. I want the cuddling and soft touches that come in the wake of great sex. I want the companionship I and all consuming warmth I feel with George.
I don't know, maybe it's because I've been stressed out and depressed lately. I haven't been very happy with myself lately so perhaps finding joy and sexual gratification in myself has paid the price for that. Why is it that everything has to be connected? And why do I have to get depressed? And why am I writing it here? I could just write it in my own journal and no one but me would know about it and I suppose that's the problem.
And it's also the source of the original problem because I keep asaking others what's wrong with me and look for the answers to my questions in other people. I wish I could do it all on my own and stop running to others. But I suppose wishing does nothing and I have to just buckle down and do it all myself. I need to make myself happy so that I can get back to my insatiable nympho selve.
......................
That's going to be alot of work...
Thank you all for listening. Don't feel obligated to answer. I just needed to write this down and think it through that way. The answer has always been there even though I've never been satisfied with it. I have to find it myself. I have to find a way to make myself happy and everything else will follow. I can't ask others the how of it, I need to find it in myself.
Alright, I need to go make me happy....and do stupid homework grrrrr
LOL oh boy. This is gonna take awhile.
I don't know, maybe it's because I've been stressed out and depressed lately. I haven't been very happy with myself lately so perhaps finding joy and sexual gratification in myself has paid the price for that. Why is it that everything has to be connected? And why do I have to get depressed? And why am I writing it here? I could just write it in my own journal and no one but me would know about it and I suppose that's the problem.
And it's also the source of the original problem because I keep asaking others what's wrong with me and look for the answers to my questions in other people. I wish I could do it all on my own and stop running to others. But I suppose wishing does nothing and I have to just buckle down and do it all myself. I need to make myself happy so that I can get back to my insatiable nympho selve.
......................
That's going to be alot of work...
Thank you all for listening. Don't feel obligated to answer. I just needed to write this down and think it through that way. The answer has always been there even though I've never been satisfied with it. I have to find it myself. I have to find a way to make myself happy and everything else will follow. I can't ask others the how of it, I need to find it in myself.
Alright, I need to go make me happy....and do stupid homework grrrrr
LOL oh boy. This is gonna take awhile.