So I was forced to have a week off work, and I had plenty to do, sorting out things at home, getting the garden under control, studying for exams coming up ........and I have done absolutely none of this! Instead I have sat on my arse watching films, seen my diet return to crap, started smoking again and spent many hours here admiring gorgeous women who I will never meet, probably never communicate with and who would never look at me twice in the real world.
It has taught me several things, firstly I need to get some new ink done.
Secondly, I have always known I do like a woman with a good sized breasts, I have known for a long time how much a pair of lovely eyes can effect me, what I have never noticed before is how much a I am influenced by hair. This site is pretty much like allowing a kid into a candy shop to pick his favourite looking sweets, and a lot of those I am picking do have very striking hair, be that blondes, redheads or dyed, and the others have eyes I can just drown in (some have all three and are angels).
The third is just how lonely I am. and how much I miss the company of a woman in my life. I have been single for a few years and have accepted that I am not likely to ever be with anyone, and I have been able to cope with that. I am not going to be with someone just to stop myself being alone, I have made that mistake before, it would have to be someone I really want to be with if it did happen. It affected me to the extent that last night I was moments away from self harming, something which I have not done for many years, but I somehow managed to stop myself. I am very shy and introverted which makes it very hard to meet new people, I won't use dating websites as I know that if no one responded to a profile it really would be the end of me, and I generally feel the internet can isolate people more.
I guess what I am really trying to say is me and my brain don't get on and we have reached a point where we get to rebalanced and get back to a stable position. I think to do that I need to walk away for a while, great logic there of being lonely so shut yourself off even more. It may be for days, weeks, months of even forever, I just don't know at the moment.
I really don't actually believe anyone reads what I write, they just hit the little heart as they scroll by, but if I am wrong and people do take any notice of this there are several things I would like you to think about, Firstly, just look after each other, there are a lot of arseholes in this world, and a lot of broken people as well, but in general what I have seen of the people here is that they are not arseholes and can support those who are broken. Just spare a few minutes in your busy lives to be there for each other.
Secondly, do what you can to get those in charge of this site make Lorii's new set, due in the next couple of weeks, the SOTD. I have no idea how this beautiful girl has not turned pink yet while others have somehow managed it! Obviously, this is only my opinion, but check out her sets for yourself, I am sure you will not be disappointed.
I guess that is all I have to say at the moment.........maybe I will see you soon.