scattershot

Alright man. Here's my two cents. Take it for what it is. First of all, I consider myself decently well read as far as comics go. I also play a lot of role-playing games and know this genre rather well. I think. Also, I'm a director, and my job is to make good stories come to life and to recognize those stories. I don't know if you are writing this, or illustrating, or both, but I'm going to comment on both of them. Please, take it or leave it.

Story - I don't know enough to truly judge yet. I don't know where you plan on taking it, but there are some basic fundamental things that I am unsure about when I look at what you've got. What are you trying to say? There has to be a theme. Even if it is just an entertaining romp. Is it redemption? Is it the value of teamwork? Think about the titles and stories that have survived decades. X-Men. Superman. The Hulk. Even something like Sin City has something beneath the surface that makes it compelling. Everyone can relate to something that is at the core of these books, whether it be bigotry, anger, or being the alien forced with the task of being better than those around him. What do you have? What is going to make these people endearing and make us want to return? The thing about comics is that in serial form, the story is always progressing, and the characters, while evolving are always the constant. They need to be strong as hell, and we better love them, or love to hate them.

Art - The art needs to fit the story. Once again, the meat of these characters may suit this art very well. But right now, I can't tell. There has to be a marriage. What are these stories going to be about? That should determine the art. Right now, the art certainly has an inspiration that I can see, and forgive my ignorance, it is the illustrator of Aeon Flux. I've seen a few of his other works as well, I just can't recall his name. Although, once again, it depends on your story, I think you should work at making it a little more dynamic. Currently, they lack energy. I would suggest playing around with extremes, especially in movement and working to heighten features and expressions. But maybe that's not what you want.

I guess my constructive criticism would boil down to this: find a Wild Bird. That's a term I use when I'm trying to determine the best way to tell a story. I try to find something that illustrates in one way or another, everything I want to do with a story. For example, if I see a painting that elicits an emotion that I want out of an audience, I return to that painting often and try to determine what it is about it that makes me feel as I do, and try to pull that out of the story, and design concept of what is on stage. Or I do it with a piece of music. Or something that means something to me that I can use as my anchor. Because when we stray too far from what we originally want and believe our work to be (and usually, the simpler the better), things become muddy and not interesting to follow. This may sound like I'm bashing what you've done, but I'm not at all. These are some really basic things. It sounds like you know what you want the car to look like, you just haven't found an engine to make it go. When you find that engine, the car should run just fine and look good as well. For what it's worth.

KAMALA!!!!!!!!!!!