Irony is saying BOO on my journal entry this morning and being scared to go talk to a girl that broke my heart a long time ago in the afternoon
Irony in the same sense is not being able to do that but being able to get up on a stage infront of friends and sing (one of the hardest things in the world to do) without second guessing doing it.
le sigh... I went by there thinking hmmm I'll be in the area if shes working there I'll go in and see if she recognized me. Its been some long odd years she might not.. but the second I saw her face my heart skipped three beats and I must have turned pale. So now I know I won't be the one to initiate contact but it sucks that I know where she can be reached and I want to talk to her tell her all the shit thats been going on in my life since we last talked... hear all the shit in her life... wonder if shes seeing anyone and maybe try and make things work this time..... but being left for another guy is something hard to get over. Although for the record we never dated... but my intentions were known to her but she went out with someone else... they dated for a week till she got far too aggrivated by him then she said she had no idea that I liked her and we beat around the bush for a couple days and then contact broke besides a few hall way hellos in high school. Maybe if I had smiled at her instead of turning away fast... I coulda sworn she saw me. Why else would my heart have skipped like that. FUCK
oh well I need a new plan of action maybe.. or maybe I need to put this behind me like I did before
that is all
music: Kanye West - Through the Wire. (thats right bitches a rap song... but I likes it so there, and Im listening to it now so there)
mood: Regretting, but realizing I couldn't do it if I wanted to as I obviously want to but my body and my brain don't agree with eachother on this one. but then I got my fauxhawk rockin, these awesome pointy side burns... I look like jade puget without the blonde part or the tallness really. lol.
Irony in the same sense is not being able to do that but being able to get up on a stage infront of friends and sing (one of the hardest things in the world to do) without second guessing doing it.
le sigh... I went by there thinking hmmm I'll be in the area if shes working there I'll go in and see if she recognized me. Its been some long odd years she might not.. but the second I saw her face my heart skipped three beats and I must have turned pale. So now I know I won't be the one to initiate contact but it sucks that I know where she can be reached and I want to talk to her tell her all the shit thats been going on in my life since we last talked... hear all the shit in her life... wonder if shes seeing anyone and maybe try and make things work this time..... but being left for another guy is something hard to get over. Although for the record we never dated... but my intentions were known to her but she went out with someone else... they dated for a week till she got far too aggrivated by him then she said she had no idea that I liked her and we beat around the bush for a couple days and then contact broke besides a few hall way hellos in high school. Maybe if I had smiled at her instead of turning away fast... I coulda sworn she saw me. Why else would my heart have skipped like that. FUCK
oh well I need a new plan of action maybe.. or maybe I need to put this behind me like I did before
that is all
music: Kanye West - Through the Wire. (thats right bitches a rap song... but I likes it so there, and Im listening to it now so there)
mood: Regretting, but realizing I couldn't do it if I wanted to as I obviously want to but my body and my brain don't agree with eachother on this one. but then I got my fauxhawk rockin, these awesome pointy side burns... I look like jade puget without the blonde part or the tallness really. lol.
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xoxo zoe xoxo