scattershot

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH


I totally fucking hate people that think they understand me. So I have a few self-loathing tendencies... I don't give a fuck what you think!!!! If your my friend you'd just accept it and not call me annoying .... you basically just said you don't give a shit about me.. I thought we were friends fucker!!!!! well no more.

sorry everyone...... this is the only place I can rant like this.

I get sick and all the sudden Im the fucking bad guy!!!! this is bullshit!!!! GOD FUCKING DAMMIT!!!! GOD DAMMIT ALL TO THE FUCKING BOWELS OF HELL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

people wonder why I hate myself and I hate people .. because people treat me like this. Like Im just a minor blip on their radar. I have to get the fuck out of my life and into a new one.

although on the plus side I just had an awesome practise with the guy in the band. This is the only thing that makes me happy right now I guess. That and SG ... I wonder how I would deal if I didn't have SG or the band... I'd probably have killed myself by now ... well thats only something I could say in the state of mind Im in right now. Im of the mindset that I would never do that because its cowardly and not the way out .... but still is a pointless life worth living?

I shouldn't say that my life isn't pointless ... just very solitary. It sucks being short fat and ugly and shy.