scarredangel

Today a dumbass saved my life, or at the very least my legs.

I was sitting at a red light, on my way home from work, when it happened. Those of you that know me, know I have little to no patience with dumbasses. I was sitting with my blinker on (to turn left across the intersection), waiting for the light to turn green. As there was no "green arrow" I looked to see what the minivan across the intersection was going to do. And when I say no green arrow, there was just a solid green light. No arrow light at all on the light pole.

Minivan: check. No turn signal: check. So assuming that said minivan would be going straight across the intersection, I planned on waiting for the minivan to cross over before I made any attempt to go.

The light turns green, and I wait. And wait. So I begin the usual, "hellooooooo.. dumbasss... what are you waiting for?" So 10 seconds into this green light, I wonder if perhaps the minivan has a bad turn signal and is wanting to turn left also. But that doesn't make any sense, because if the minivan wanted to turn left there's no one in the way. Just me and my left turn signal... hmmm. I double check the light, yup, still green. So, I'm not crazy. The minivan driver is just retarded. So I go ahead and let off my brake pedal to creep out into the intersection, cuz if someone doesn't go ahead, we are just going to sit like this all afternoon.

So, let's take a moment to study what has happened here.
Minivan doesn't appear to want to turn. That means minivan has the right of way, what with me wanting to turn left and all. But here we are just sitting here. Either the minivan driver is asleep, or a dumbass. I'm guessing that this is about the 15 second mark in the story which we return to....

Now. As I let off my brake and move my foot 4 inches to the right I glance to my left just a little...

And see the black SUV with 'bitch on the cellphone' at the wheel. Guess what she's not doing. That would be stopping at the red light she's had for atleast 15 seconds. She did tap her brakes enough to make her SUV lurch a hair. Too bad that was halfway through the intersection I'm about to enter. I didn't even have time to flip her the bird, she was going so fast. Had I even touched the gas pedal, I'd be bitching about my truck being totaled. At the very least.

So thank you minivan driver. You being a dumbass today saved me from getting plowed into by an even bigger dumbass. 'Bitch on the cellphone', please please please, if you are going to talk on your cellphone while driving, remember to pull your head out of your ass before you put your pretty SUV in Drive.