New Year's Resolution
Current mood: contemplative
So I'm sitting around at work last night, and my buddy Colin is talking about how his sister fucked him over again. And we got to talking about how Colin is one of the nicest people you've ever met until you fuck him over. Then he doesn't get angry, he doesn't become stand-offish. He steals your fucking soul. I've seen Colin and his sister go at it, it's not very pretty. And it made me think about some things.
I used to be like that. I used to tell people when I met them, "hey, just so you know ahead of time. I can be the best friend you'll ever have, but don't fuck me over, cuz I'm the WORST enemy you'll ever want." What happened to that? Yea, it's maybe not the greatest way to go about things, but hell. It was just a part of the person I was. Now I'm this doormat shaped thing that people have felt obliged to wipe their feet (and other parts) all over. What the fuck.
So I've been doing some "soul searching" after some of the events of the last two years. I've already decided that I'm not jumping into anymore relationships, emotionally AND physically (much to the chagrin of the girl I'm dating). I'm striving to be truly independant, and to make things right in my life. Not that there is that much wrong (unlike some people I know), I jsut want to get my finances in check, and make some minor adjustments to my lifestyle (exercise, cutting back drinking, etc.).
So having thought about this last night, I think the two pretty much go hand in hand. And just for shits and tickles, I'm going to make the attitude change retroactive. If you don't know what that means, just watch and see.
Having gotten in touch with an old friend/ex also helped this along. I couldn't figure out why I was friends with every other ex (besides Tiff), and that's when it dawned on me. I never let it get bitter. I stood up for myself, and if it needed to end, I ended it. There was a similar situation in my last relationship, that happened about 5 years ago in another. The way I handled the two is so contrasting, it's ridiculous.
So thanks Colin and Jess, you've shown me the way back to the person I was. And I guess I should thank myself, for having the smarts to see what's right in front of me.
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Going to eat Sushi with Colin, Jes, and Eli today. Then Colin and I are headed to the White Elephant to see Jack Ingram do an acoustic show!!!! I'm so fucking excited. Yee-Haw!
Current mood: contemplative
So I'm sitting around at work last night, and my buddy Colin is talking about how his sister fucked him over again. And we got to talking about how Colin is one of the nicest people you've ever met until you fuck him over. Then he doesn't get angry, he doesn't become stand-offish. He steals your fucking soul. I've seen Colin and his sister go at it, it's not very pretty. And it made me think about some things.
I used to be like that. I used to tell people when I met them, "hey, just so you know ahead of time. I can be the best friend you'll ever have, but don't fuck me over, cuz I'm the WORST enemy you'll ever want." What happened to that? Yea, it's maybe not the greatest way to go about things, but hell. It was just a part of the person I was. Now I'm this doormat shaped thing that people have felt obliged to wipe their feet (and other parts) all over. What the fuck.
So I've been doing some "soul searching" after some of the events of the last two years. I've already decided that I'm not jumping into anymore relationships, emotionally AND physically (much to the chagrin of the girl I'm dating). I'm striving to be truly independant, and to make things right in my life. Not that there is that much wrong (unlike some people I know), I jsut want to get my finances in check, and make some minor adjustments to my lifestyle (exercise, cutting back drinking, etc.).
So having thought about this last night, I think the two pretty much go hand in hand. And just for shits and tickles, I'm going to make the attitude change retroactive. If you don't know what that means, just watch and see.
Having gotten in touch with an old friend/ex also helped this along. I couldn't figure out why I was friends with every other ex (besides Tiff), and that's when it dawned on me. I never let it get bitter. I stood up for myself, and if it needed to end, I ended it. There was a similar situation in my last relationship, that happened about 5 years ago in another. The way I handled the two is so contrasting, it's ridiculous.
So thanks Colin and Jess, you've shown me the way back to the person I was. And I guess I should thank myself, for having the smarts to see what's right in front of me.
---------------------
Going to eat Sushi with Colin, Jes, and Eli today. Then Colin and I are headed to the White Elephant to see Jack Ingram do an acoustic show!!!! I'm so fucking excited. Yee-Haw!
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Seriously, hope this works for you.
sg is fucked, can't get comments, don't bother posting a comment to this. you can email me on this one.