scarlettgrace_____

i am sad today. i just decided yesterday to give up my truck! i love that truck. but honestly, i cannot afford it right now. my parents have actually had it for the past year, helping me out having taken over the payments. i wanted to have taken it back by this this november, but it wasnt looking good. so i did what i had to do... what the best thing was to do.... give it up.... **eyes begin to water** : ( silly thing, having so much emotion over a fucking machine.... but i cant help it. it was love at first sight, and i searched long and hard for that truck, nissan frontier, 4 door, 6 spd manual transmission, basic kinda truck... tow package and bed liner.. that was it for the frills... i could drive through puddles like nothing, find an empty field, spin out doing doughnuts...kicking up dirt and peeling out... fuck i love that truck..... but it wasnt fair to my parents, having taken over my financial responsibility...and the way gas is right now... and i work kinda far from where i live... so it really is the best thing... (i have to keep telling myself this..) i have thought it over and over.... and i had to do what i had to do.... a major deciding factor was that i work two jobs just in an attempt to maintain myself, rent, bills, blah, blah... bullshit... and i am burning myself out... working 6 days a week, i am over it.... i need more down time... so i am doing everything possible to attain the goal of not having to work 2 jobs by next year... and to be out of debt.... well.. i may have to work the two jobs UNTIL i am out of debt...but once the debt is gone, which it almost is, i will then free myself of the secondary job..maybe just picking up days for the hell of it... but for now... i NEED it... which sucks cause i get that stuck/trapt feeling that i hate so much !! soo.... after hainvg just completed 8 hours at place of employment #1, i now go to do 6 hours at job #2... i think i need a drink..and a cig... and a big fucking bag of benjamins!!! so.. till i win the lotto i will have to settle with the first 2...and begin the healing of my heart.. i really fucking love that truck..... i really hope i did the right thing.. cause i am really going to miss that truck !!