scarletspider

So, after being told I wasn't going to be able to get any parttime these coming semesters, it seems the powers that be had some pity on me. My boss says me and the other co-op may be able to get some parttime work for the next 6months, until we come back fulltime in January.

A blessing and a curse I guess, cause I was excited to finally not work during classes in one way or another. But i guess the $$ I'll make will provide more fun for me then just sitting around the apartment 3 days a week.

And this then jumps into how I feel about ruining the Canada trip. Honestly, I'm just not a good arbitrary person to go through, I've found myself meaning to say one thing and it totally taken the wrong way.

So is the trip on or not? Who knows... I'm wicked bummed out because I've never been up there and was Beyond excited to go up...and since I won't be having much "vacation" this summer, this was going to be the big trip , and then I had to go fuck it up.

Some have commented on the "guess i'm going alone" statement that follows the Canadia countdown in my AIM profile.....I really don't want it to be that way, but because of me maybe it will be. I just want the trip to just happen as it would have, without me being a schmuck and screwing things up.

I've always found it weird how I can talk in detail about how I feel in a "journal" and yet couldn't actually say these things to the people I see almost everyday. I don't know, I think deep down I still feel like I'm on thin ice with some and almost even shy of others. I know I don't act it, but trust me I do feel it.