savana

I fucking hate spiders..... there I said it. For all you hippy-dippy hug the wildlife folks out there.... well- that's just fine and dandy, but until your over at my house picking up the spiders gently in a paper towel, and depositing them outside yourself..... they're just gonna have to suffer there fate of getting sucked up in my vaccuum cleaner. The only other thing I hate more then spiders is Spitting Cobras. Random, I know but I can't help but think that Spitting Cobras are god's ulitmate Fuck You to a wasted society. Since.. really- when you come toe to toe... err, well..... whatever.. when you find yourself in a situation where you may be facing a cobra, you know it's just NOT going to end well..... and while your processing this, that damn thing goes and SPITS on you, well that's just insult to injury. So here you are.... paralyzed now and having to suffer both raging indiignation (over being spit on) and the horror of watching the damn thing terrorize you over and over... *shudder* Two Thumbs Down For Spitting Cobras... anyway... this isn't a story about cobras (haha) the whole reason I brought this up today, is cause here I was this morning... taking my nice, peaceful shower, running through the mental To-Do list while alternating between dreaming about a world where tattoos were free, my set was live and excessive whiskey didn't make you fat ...... when low and behold, some kind of huge, mutant spider crawled up from behind the tile *shudder, ack* and simply stared at me with his huge, beady little eyes...... soooooo... here I am, nekkid (shocking I know.. showering nekkid- who EVER would have thought) and vulernable... and face to face with the spider that is quite possibly the very same spider who turned Peter Parker into Spider Man (and all I could think of was, where OH WHERE is the vacuum cleaner when you need it?) At this point, the only thing I could think to do, was finish rinsing off, and slowly climb out of the shower.. since I truly thought, at that moment.... that any quick motion- might freak the spider out & he'd launch himself at my head...and possibly eat me. HEY- I've seen that movie... and being eaten by a giant, mutant spider, didn't look fun. Anyway- so as I make my sopping wet, ninja-like exit from the shower- I grab the towel (not nekkid = INVINCIBLE *que super hero music* da dah DUN) and reach over and turn the shower to scalding (... cause this one goes to 11- haha ) and proceed to try and flush the spider down the drain. Now, this is where it gets really creepy... so I've now burned him, drowned him and well, insulted him beyond belief and I'll be damned (most likely) he didn't die. He just hung on... till finally, I had to climb onto the side of the tub, position the shower head accordingly... and literally force him off his ledge, and into the now gathering volcanic water in the base of the tub.. all that AND HE STILL DIDN"T DIE. He just swam around, hung out... checked out a few gathering suds still lingering from my shower... ...seemingly attempted to order a cocktail from the free floating rubber duckies (shut up.. I think there cute) til finally... FINALLY... 15 minutes later... he gave up life. Good Gawd... *shudder, shudder.. twitch twitch* (sorry, I was just re-living the moment) Needless to say.... I grabbed the rest of my bathroom stuff and hightailed it outta there.... now for the record, it should be noted that for as much as I hate spiders, I'm not the climb-on-a-chair-and-start-screaming kind of girl... I'm more of the grab-the-raid-and-the-lighter-and-let's-have-party kinda sicko. Whatever, don't judge me.....hahahah. Well- this was my morning... hows yours starting off