So, without getting into crazy details, I will simply say that this has been the worst couple of months in my life. Awful, awful, awful fucking summer.
I need to make some choices. What's worse is that I need to summon the courage to execute them. Thinking about them is frightening enough, and wells bile in my throat that I can either spit or swallow -- and both are unattractive choices. I'm calling on a lot of strength to deal with unfamiliar territory, and it's a hike that I don't know I have enough lung capacity to breathe for. I'm already hyperventilating with the tears, sweat and stress.
And here I thought I was tougher than this.
Humans are creatures of survival and I will ultimately test Spencer, Darwin, Lewottin -- you name 'em. I plan on makin' it. I will hopefully embrace change with as much grace as a cool breeze over water, and not the torrent of a moon-inspired tide. I don't plan on drowning.
But it's still hard to breathe.
I need to make some choices. What's worse is that I need to summon the courage to execute them. Thinking about them is frightening enough, and wells bile in my throat that I can either spit or swallow -- and both are unattractive choices. I'm calling on a lot of strength to deal with unfamiliar territory, and it's a hike that I don't know I have enough lung capacity to breathe for. I'm already hyperventilating with the tears, sweat and stress.
And here I thought I was tougher than this.
Humans are creatures of survival and I will ultimately test Spencer, Darwin, Lewottin -- you name 'em. I plan on makin' it. I will hopefully embrace change with as much grace as a cool breeze over water, and not the torrent of a moon-inspired tide. I don't plan on drowning.
But it's still hard to breathe.
I could see about getting you one of those.
... you know, ... 'cos I'm not able to loan you any courage. Even though I would.
I'm rooting for you.