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satsujin

Trashville

Member Since 2006

Followers 286 Following 258

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Friday Jul 13, 2007

Jul 13, 2007
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OKay. Okay.

Holy shit, I'm still laughing.

I had a conversation with a fellow movie buff about Transformers. LOLOL This is the hysterical disaster that came out of Kofi, one of my best buds for years.

Oh jesus.

------------------

Kofi: True, but this dumb-it-down-to-please-the-mass phenomenon is really out of control lately. It didn't used to be like this. You didn't have to treat the mainstream audience like they were fucking idiots to sell them your movie. Jurassic Park is basically the first iteration of this movie, but it has intelligent, three-dimensional, likeable characters, an intelligent plot (I actually learned something from it. I didn't know anything about all of that DNA shit before this movie, or even what a raptor was), AND monsters killing people and blowing shit up.

Kofi: Raiders of the Lost Ark. Back to the Future. There are a TON of great blockbusters where directors didn't do this nonsense that people love, but we've forgotten about them in the face of Michael Bay and his fuck-a-script attitude. I wanna say that I'm okay with dumb action movies, cos I really do love 'em ( I liked Die Hard 4!), but seriously...WTF. =[

AKina: =x I love Michael Bay. LOL But I think I like him because of the physical abuse he puts his actors through. I LIKE that they get their asses kicked when they make a movie of his. But, like you said, they aren't movies that I go to watch for script writing caliber.

Akina: I guess I have made an expectations formula that prepares me for what I'm going to get when I see a movie, that way I can find the things I like about it (but will still decide whether or not it's worth my time again.)

Kofi : True.

Kofi: He aggravates the shit out of me mainly becos he sees the world as a 12 year old boy would. The fetishistic obsession with guns and cars -- okay, I like gun talk and flashy cars myself. But you have the Latino grunt speaking in his prerequisite Spanish, the white grunt who has a wife and child at home and just wants to make it back home to his family (the only family they bothered showing, like I figured), Bernie Mac calling his own MOTHER a bitch, cos that's what we rascally black coons do with our uncontrollable mouths!, and Anthony Anderson... wtf

Akina: LMMFAO

Akina : You're exactly right.

Kofi: Downing a whole plate of donuts. =O EAT THOSE DONUTS, FATTY!! EAT EAT EAT LIKE A GOOD LIL SAMBO!! Cos, you know, the white girl sitting right next to him is above that sort of belligerent, disgusting behavior. The black transformer (who breakdances and calls everybody lil' bitches) is fucking killed -- LOL @ him even digging into old movie stereotypes -- and then, I swore I blinked a moment in-between all the masturbation jokes, but I swore I saw one transformer PEE all over fucking John Turturro.

Kofi: Waitwaitwait!! ::deep breath:: One more thing. >O ::waves whoopin' stick on top of soapbox::

Kofi: The girl! Motherfuckin ' --

Kofi: ZERO CHEMISTRY. Okay, she's hot. Great. Wonderful. Now GIVE HER A PERSONALITY, you fucking pervert. I love how he only had her acknowledge this kid for the first time in EIGHT FUCKING YEARS because of his car, cos that's exactly how girls think!! She, like, LOVES jocks cos they have such big muscles, you know? But Shia Boofy, gawd, that car. Muscles or car?? Which one to choose?/1 ::giggle!:: All this thinking! I'm just a girl! Tee-hee! ::sips Dasani::

Kofi: The best part is how homie falls off his bike and makes a complete ass of himself in front of all of these girls, and this broad gets up to follow him to God knows where for no real reason other than to move the plot along. Eight years she hasn't given a 747 flying fuck about this dude, but now that she's ridden in his car and discussed, like, you know, gotten to know the real Shia, she's magnetized to him!! =O!!

WOMEN, THOU ART UNRAVELED!! =O =O =O

Kofi: Oh, wow. If I could sell Lexuses to every high school dork in America...

Anyway. Let's say all of this is logically sound. (LOL!) WHY, then, would she decide to stay with him after she's nearly killed several times by a GIANT FUCKING ROBOT? Why in the HELL would she stick around? To tell him -- (giggle!) -- my daddy's in jail!

(Shia) WTF YOU'RE DAMAGED GOODZ I CANT SEE U ANYMORE

(Girl) ;_; I have no purpose now.

(Shia) I'd tell you OFF, but I can't remember if you have a name or not.

(Girl) =[ It doesn't matter. Let the camera pan to my tits again and you'll forget it anyway.

(Shia) o.O ...I'm so sorry we ever argued. I love you. Let's make out on my car that is really alive.

(Girl) That is AWESOME! how old are we again?

(Shia) Like 16. Hey, car, play some Marvin Gaye in case the kids didn't jot that down in their notes on how to have pre-marital sex.

(Girl) ::giggle!:: Slow down! This is a lot of dialogue! I don't comprehend words that fast!

Kofi: (Optimus) ::stops jerking off:: Sorry. This make-out session is hot. (ahem) Just remember one thing, girly: freedom is the right of ALL sentient beings.

(Girl) ; ; ::salutez flag:: OMG SO PROFOUND!

(Optimus) Except for YOU, bumblebee. Your ass is scrap metal. =[

(Bumblebee) =[

-------------------
AHAHAHAHAHAHAH! Funny shit, non?
VIEW 12 of 12 COMMENTS
it_thing_hard_on:
I'd say that was absolutely the most comically absurd thing I'd ever heard, but I live with a guy who's ideal fantasy seems to be to fuck with an Optimus Prime mask on, so.....
Jul 31, 2007
juliana:
Looks like you haven't been around, either! smile

Yer still gorgeous though ... Hope you're doing well.
Aug 21, 2007

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