With the hopes and dreams of an entire generation of lost souls riding shotgun on our shoulders, I should only wish to welcome you into the New Year in the most appropriate way possible: Fucking.
While at the time of this writing the clock has not even passed the stroke of eleven, that is, at least, in Pacific Standard Time, I have personally planned, or at the very least imagined vividly what (who) I will be doing when the clock does in fact strike midnight tonight. I can only hope that you all will have the fortune to be engaging in a similar activity on the New Year. Whether it be with a long-time mate, long-time ex-mate, your wife, or even that girl you met about four minutes whose name you'll never remember for the life of you, I would prefer that you enter 2007 with a screaming, or at least mildly pleasant, orgasm - if only to insure that you got off to the right start.
For those of you who wish to lodge a complaint with the pun department: FUCK OFF.
All the fucking about aside, there is another reason that a new year stands as significant. No, not that you have to buy a new calendar (which I need to do); No, not that you need to remember the fact that it is 07 and not 06 when you date a paper of check; but that this is the time of (new) year in which you get to make absurd claims about what you will change in the upcoming days.
Let's be a little bit honest, if not whole-heartedly cynical: You've been at this for what, 19... 20... 25 years now? Just what the fuck are you suddenly going to about-face and change in your life? Bad habit? New habit? New bad habit? What? Why in the hell have we deluded ourselves for so many years thinking that we can change.
Likely, the answer is in your left hand if you're right handed and your right hand if you're left handed (Alcohol for the fucking retard in the back who missed that).
And despite my clearly clarvoiyant, omnipotent, heartless view of this sick tradition, I'm still dumb enough to make resolutions of my own this year. And it follows, my 2007 New Year's Resolutions, followed with the number of months, weeks or days it will take for me to live up to my name as a FAILURE.
1 (Physical): Begin each morning with 10 minutes of stretching. (2 weeks, 3 days)
2 (Physical): Exercise at least twice a week, preferably more (4 months, 2 weeks)
3 (Mental): Stop lying to people who love me (4 seconds).
I have tried all of these more than once, and never once have I kept with them. But hey what the hell, the long past margarita and more recent beer can still reasonably be blamed for the arrogance of lunacy.
Happy New Years to everyone. I can only imagine that everyone on this god damn website also resolved to post a New Year's blog, so I appologize for that one.
SPC
While at the time of this writing the clock has not even passed the stroke of eleven, that is, at least, in Pacific Standard Time, I have personally planned, or at the very least imagined vividly what (who) I will be doing when the clock does in fact strike midnight tonight. I can only hope that you all will have the fortune to be engaging in a similar activity on the New Year. Whether it be with a long-time mate, long-time ex-mate, your wife, or even that girl you met about four minutes whose name you'll never remember for the life of you, I would prefer that you enter 2007 with a screaming, or at least mildly pleasant, orgasm - if only to insure that you got off to the right start.
For those of you who wish to lodge a complaint with the pun department: FUCK OFF.
All the fucking about aside, there is another reason that a new year stands as significant. No, not that you have to buy a new calendar (which I need to do); No, not that you need to remember the fact that it is 07 and not 06 when you date a paper of check; but that this is the time of (new) year in which you get to make absurd claims about what you will change in the upcoming days.
Let's be a little bit honest, if not whole-heartedly cynical: You've been at this for what, 19... 20... 25 years now? Just what the fuck are you suddenly going to about-face and change in your life? Bad habit? New habit? New bad habit? What? Why in the hell have we deluded ourselves for so many years thinking that we can change.
Likely, the answer is in your left hand if you're right handed and your right hand if you're left handed (Alcohol for the fucking retard in the back who missed that).
And despite my clearly clarvoiyant, omnipotent, heartless view of this sick tradition, I'm still dumb enough to make resolutions of my own this year. And it follows, my 2007 New Year's Resolutions, followed with the number of months, weeks or days it will take for me to live up to my name as a FAILURE.
1 (Physical): Begin each morning with 10 minutes of stretching. (2 weeks, 3 days)
2 (Physical): Exercise at least twice a week, preferably more (4 months, 2 weeks)
3 (Mental): Stop lying to people who love me (4 seconds).
I have tried all of these more than once, and never once have I kept with them. But hey what the hell, the long past margarita and more recent beer can still reasonably be blamed for the arrogance of lunacy.
Happy New Years to everyone. I can only imagine that everyone on this god damn website also resolved to post a New Year's blog, so I appologize for that one.
SPC
zeegrmn:
noted. and dont buy a calendar, i have one for you (merry fucking christmas, ass hole).
