Well then, this week started out shitty and despite the fact that I am no longer throwing up all over the place seems only to have gotten worse and worse. To enumerate the problems, in no particular order:
1. I'm out of sleep. I attempted to go to bed at a reasonable hour last night, only to be kept awake by a combination of a sore/stiff neck, a bunch of sorority idiots outside my window drunkenly screeching at the top of their lungs, and then after that a bunch of drunken fraternity types in the hall screaming at the top of their lungs... I should mention that none of them live here so I don't know what the fuck that was all about.
2. I'm feeling disconnected from the people I care about. Aside from living really far away from them right now, I haven't gotten the opportunity to talk to any of them because I've been swamped in work and sick. Although I know I am a compulsive worrier and that my concerns are usually baseless, I fear somehow that I'm not loved by my friends any more.
3. My "friends" just completely fucked me over. I've done nothing but bent over backward for the last three weeks trying to get my next years living arrangement sorted out so that I could live with these three people. They told me they wanted to live with me, so I started to work it out. Now, after all the arguing with various adults, banks, and other friends, I finally got everything ready to go. More importantly, we were supposed to go sign a lease MONDAY. Well, two of my friends just came and told me they didn't like our housing option and that they are moving in with someone else and there is no space for me or our other friend to come along. Wow, please make me feel more unimportant and worthless. I'm so happy you value my effort and my friendship and my three weeks of being unwilling to drop this bullshit (despite what everyone was telling me) for fear of dissappointing you. Fuck you.
4. My stupid brother is in the hospital, again. He got out of surgury yesterday, and my parents are now up in Bellingham at the hospital with him. I feel really bad for the crazy bastard, but I'm so mad at the same time. I was supposed to go riding with him last Saturday, but had to bag out because I was throwing up all over the place. I was supposed to go take pictures of him riding and doing crazy shit for his bosses website. It was going to be a kick ass day, getting to hang out with my brother that I only see like once every six months, getting to take photos, and getting them published too. But no, I was sick. And now his leg is all fucked up and I don't think I'll get to ride with him, possibly ever again. And I know he's going to be pissed/depressed because biking is everything to him.
So, to sum up: I'm scared, lonely, full of hatred, and I've got shitloads of work to do. I'm predisposed to giving up right now, but I think the only thing in the end that will save me is just drowning myself in work. Too bad nobody here gives enough of a fuck to notice me, or care about me.
1. I'm out of sleep. I attempted to go to bed at a reasonable hour last night, only to be kept awake by a combination of a sore/stiff neck, a bunch of sorority idiots outside my window drunkenly screeching at the top of their lungs, and then after that a bunch of drunken fraternity types in the hall screaming at the top of their lungs... I should mention that none of them live here so I don't know what the fuck that was all about.
2. I'm feeling disconnected from the people I care about. Aside from living really far away from them right now, I haven't gotten the opportunity to talk to any of them because I've been swamped in work and sick. Although I know I am a compulsive worrier and that my concerns are usually baseless, I fear somehow that I'm not loved by my friends any more.
3. My "friends" just completely fucked me over. I've done nothing but bent over backward for the last three weeks trying to get my next years living arrangement sorted out so that I could live with these three people. They told me they wanted to live with me, so I started to work it out. Now, after all the arguing with various adults, banks, and other friends, I finally got everything ready to go. More importantly, we were supposed to go sign a lease MONDAY. Well, two of my friends just came and told me they didn't like our housing option and that they are moving in with someone else and there is no space for me or our other friend to come along. Wow, please make me feel more unimportant and worthless. I'm so happy you value my effort and my friendship and my three weeks of being unwilling to drop this bullshit (despite what everyone was telling me) for fear of dissappointing you. Fuck you.
4. My stupid brother is in the hospital, again. He got out of surgury yesterday, and my parents are now up in Bellingham at the hospital with him. I feel really bad for the crazy bastard, but I'm so mad at the same time. I was supposed to go riding with him last Saturday, but had to bag out because I was throwing up all over the place. I was supposed to go take pictures of him riding and doing crazy shit for his bosses website. It was going to be a kick ass day, getting to hang out with my brother that I only see like once every six months, getting to take photos, and getting them published too. But no, I was sick. And now his leg is all fucked up and I don't think I'll get to ride with him, possibly ever again. And I know he's going to be pissed/depressed because biking is everything to him.
So, to sum up: I'm scared, lonely, full of hatred, and I've got shitloads of work to do. I'm predisposed to giving up right now, but I think the only thing in the end that will save me is just drowning myself in work. Too bad nobody here gives enough of a fuck to notice me, or care about me.