I just wish someone would tell me when the urge to have children will go away?? I don't want it to go away forever, but I need something to preoccupy me so that I'm not thinking about it everyday. I think about turning 26 in September and Jenna turning 31 in August, and all I can think of is how I don't want us to be old parents. I want us to have a child or two, and have them raised and out of the house before we are too old to really do stuff. I don't want to be the grey haired lady at my kids soccer practice, or the one who doesn't have the energy to keep up. I want to have a child so bad that I have cried until I can cry no more, but some things have to happen first.
1) ask Jenna to Marry me.
2) Convince Jenna that she is going to be a great mom (she's so unsure of herself)
3) Fix up this piece of shit house we live in
4) preferred but not 100% necessary move into a house that is not a piece of shit.
All of this can take anywhere from a year to two years. I can't wait that long. I want to be preg. by January. If we wait two more years I'll be 28, she'll be 33 and I don't want to wait that long for the first one. I just don't. Who knows maybe things will pick up. In the meantime I just need to find a good time to give her this ring that's collecting dust in my sock drawer. Right now we both work different days, so we don't even have a whole day off together, so it's hard to find time in between doing chores, or sleeping to be sweet and romantic and have a moment. Dammit I need a shift bid!! I need a real vacation too. I miss the beach, I miss spending multiple days traveling with Jenna. I miss being able to be carefree for a few days and not worry about work, the house being a piece of shit, her dad being in rehab from his stroke, and other life burdening shit. I can't complain, we both have good jobs, a roof over our heads, and each other. Life is good, I'm just being whiny.
1) ask Jenna to Marry me.
2) Convince Jenna that she is going to be a great mom (she's so unsure of herself)
3) Fix up this piece of shit house we live in
4) preferred but not 100% necessary move into a house that is not a piece of shit.
All of this can take anywhere from a year to two years. I can't wait that long. I want to be preg. by January. If we wait two more years I'll be 28, she'll be 33 and I don't want to wait that long for the first one. I just don't. Who knows maybe things will pick up. In the meantime I just need to find a good time to give her this ring that's collecting dust in my sock drawer. Right now we both work different days, so we don't even have a whole day off together, so it's hard to find time in between doing chores, or sleeping to be sweet and romantic and have a moment. Dammit I need a shift bid!! I need a real vacation too. I miss the beach, I miss spending multiple days traveling with Jenna. I miss being able to be carefree for a few days and not worry about work, the house being a piece of shit, her dad being in rehab from his stroke, and other life burdening shit. I can't complain, we both have good jobs, a roof over our heads, and each other. Life is good, I'm just being whiny.