So I finally leave the house today after days of whimpering like a wounded ferret on the couch. I lock the door, walk half-way down the steps outside my flat and slam my head into the bottom of the stairs going up to the next level. 
After carrying on like a porkchop for about 2 minutes holding my head and mouthing "ow ow ow you fuckercunt with fuckpissshit ow" and walking out to the car, I trip over on SMOOTH CONCRETE and land knee down in dogshit.
So I came back inside, stripped off, threw my stockings in a plastic bag, threw it outside the door, had a shower and lay back down on the couch.
How sooky-la-la is that!! I dare you to beat that.
After carrying on like a porkchop for about 2 minutes holding my head and mouthing "ow ow ow you fuckercunt with fuckpissshit ow" and walking out to the car, I trip over on SMOOTH CONCRETE and land knee down in dogshit.
So I came back inside, stripped off, threw my stockings in a plastic bag, threw it outside the door, had a shower and lay back down on the couch.
How sooky-la-la is that!! I dare you to beat that.
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so how do you spell it....