update time:
*points to new profile pic* HOLY SHIT THOSE GUYS LOOK PISSED!!
quick band report: were writing new shit and im really pleased with what were doing and the way its turning out...its ridiculous how much better weve gotten at our instruments...we still suck tho...if anyone has any show leads in ohio or the surrounding areas feel free to hook us up...wed really appreciate it
now on to more serious fare: ive been making vague references to my personal life in this thing and how distressing its been...and now i feel its time to go into detail...its best summed up in this AIM conversation im about to post but first some background: im currently in a long distance relationship with a girl from vancouver, BC and weve been together for four years....in march she came out for a two and ahlf week visit and now the AIM conversation:
24 Jul 2004, 5:46PM
srcgurl: what's up dawg?
5:50PM
OldManSas012: hang on
srcgurl: yep.
5:55PM
OldManSas012: hey
OldManSas012: sorry
srcgurl: yeah yeah, sure.
srcgurl: *laughs* J/k. what's up?
OldManSas012: ugh.....when id we last talk?
srcgurl: i dunnno, dud.e
OldManSas012: did i tell you i was gonna be a dad?
srcgurl: NO!
OldManSas012: well..it doesnt matter.....we lost the child friday
OldManSas012: last friday
6:00PM
srcgurl: Damn! How far along was she?
OldManSas012: 5 and a half months
srcgurl: what happened?
OldManSas012: ugh....what HASNT happened
OldManSas012: did i mention shes still in vancouver? yeah...MORE stress
srcgurl: why's she still there?
OldManSas012: because the entire pregnancy was one big complication from the get go
srcgurl: Did she ever move out with you? or did she move with you and then go back?
OldManSas012: it was supposed to be twins
OldManSas012: she was here for two weeks and had to go back
srcgurl: what for??
srcgurl: how did she lose them?
OldManSas012: some stupid wedding....she was trying to keep things peaceable with her fam
srcgurl: oh ok. Then she ended up staying? what happened that she lost the babies?
OldManSas012: yeah...she ended up staying because they kept telling her that travel was a bad idea
6:05PM
srcgurl: ok..
OldManSas012: so..yes....first of all..this wasnt supposed to go longer than two weeks
OldManSas012: she was never even supposed to be able to get pregnant *long story*
srcgurl: Ok.
OldManSas012: but she did....
srcgurl: well, i was going to ask that, didn't she have all kinds of health problems before?
OldManSas012: and we waited the two weeks....and..well...we didnt lose her like we were told we would
OldManSas012: THEN we found out it was twins....
srcgurl: *nods*
OldManSas012: then we found out that her body was barely coping with twins....the doctors said that we should really consider doing a "reduction"
OldManSas012: or else theres a high chance wed lose both
OldManSas012: so...thats what we did
srcgurl: you did the reduction?
OldManSas012: yeah
srcgurl: Ok.
OldManSas012: well.....what they do is....its kinda like a lethal injection.....and then the two fetuses should separateand they go clean everything up so to speak....well..they didnt separate
6:10PM
OldManSas012: so they had to go in and manually separate them
OldManSas012: god i sound so clinical....
OldManSas012: but i dont know how else to say all thius
srcgurl: *smiles* it's ok. go on.
OldManSas012: so..they did
OldManSas012: but things werestill not given that good of a chance
srcgurl: because of her health?
OldManSas012: yeah..but we figured we had to try...
srcgurl: *nods* Yeah.
OldManSas012: and after a few months or so..things were starting to look better
srcgurl: yeah
OldManSas012: and they had just given her permission to NOT lay around in bed all day and do nothing
OldManSas012: OH..and her family knew NOTHING of any of this..well..no..if they knew they refused to acknowledge it
srcgurl: that she was pregnant??
OldManSas012: it became fairly obvious after a while she was either getting fat or preggers
OldManSas012: yeah...it became the big elephant in the room no one talked about...just like everyhting else in that family
srcgurl: Oh lord. so her family sucks, basically.
OldManSas012: like you wouldnt believe
OldManSas012: reason number 389945059943 why she wants out of there
srcgurl: *nods*
OldManSas012: so..back to the story
OldManSas012: she had just gotten permission to get up and walk around and be a little more active
OldManSas012: so she was out walking to her firends house who lives like...minutes away
srcgurl: *nods*
6:15PM
OldManSas012: and he ends up gettig hit by a car...and knocking into her...and making her fall....face first
OldManSas012: so they get her to a hospital and things look kinda serious but eventually they kinda clear up
srcgurl: Oh good LORD. You guys have the worst luck in the WORLD.
srcgurl: gets hit by a CAR? DAMN.
OldManSas012: our luck sucks..so much that certain people have problems beliveing things..but well discuss that later
OldManSas012: but even after that..they thought things were gonna be ok....
srcgurl: damn.
OldManSas012: but then last week...she was starting to have some serious problems..kind of relating back to the accident...she *the child* wasnt growing like she should and all that....
OldManSas012: and then friday morning....michelle doesnt feel the kiddo move
srcgurl: *nods*
OldManSas012: so she calls the doctor...the doctor comes to see her....and she cant find a heartbeat
OldManSas012: so.....that was that
Marc Sabo: michelle unfortunately had to give birth anyways
srcgurl: Damn.
srcgurl: That's awful.
OldManSas012: she delivered saturday
6:20PM
OldManSas012: and thus ends that part of the saga
OldManSas012: i wanted to go up there..but we both decided that it would probably be a bad idea
OldManSas012: as much as i wanted to be there for her and vice versa
srcgurl: *nods*
srcgurl: And she's still THERE??
OldManSas012: shes pretty fucked up
OldManSas012: she can barely walk
srcgurl: well she needs to be home with YOU.
srcgurl: Do you guys have your own place?
OldManSas012: no..but my folks know everything and really like her
OldManSas012: i know she needs to be here...but really....the doctor comes to HER to take her for check ups
srcgurl: *nods* so she was living with you and your parents, then?
OldManSas012: yeah..and it went ridiculously well
srcgurl: Yeah. I imagine so. Sounds like the last place she needs to be is with HER family.
OldManSas012: i know....but she says that its impossible to do right now and i believe her
6:25PM
OldManSas012: and if i go out there..and she doesnt leave with me and we have to separate...is that really gonna help anything?
srcgurl: yeah, it sounds that way if she can barely walk. How long do they think it's going to take for her to recover?
OldManSas012: dont know.....shes not sleeping well and cant eat anything and keep it down
srcgurl: *shakes her head* Damn.
OldManSas012: i know
srcgurl: that's just horrible.
OldManSas012: this year can eat me
srcgurl: me and Ev joke about having "the curse" but you guys definately have it worse.
OldManSas012: i think god hates one of us......probably her....i cant figure out why tho
srcgurl: So who doesn't believe that this stuff happens to you guys?
srcgurl: Her family?
OldManSas012: two of my friends
OldManSas012: its actually an interesting situation
OldManSas012: and by interesting i mean it can go fuck itself in the ass with a chainsaw
srcgurl: *laughs*
6:30PM
srcgurl: That sounds like real good friends, there, buddy.
OldManSas012: theyve BOTH mentioned in the past they think shes fucking with me..
OldManSas012: ive been friends with them for over ten years....
srcgurl: *nods*
OldManSas012: but i think the fact that i KEEP DOING THIS kind of insinuates that IM WILLING TO TAKE THE FUCKING CHANCE!
srcgurl: *nods* Yeah. That's really nice friends.
OldManSas012: look.....i know my relationship looks WIERD and yeah her stupid amounts of bad luck can appear to be bullshit....
OldManSas012: i admit ALL of this....ive even called her on it
OldManSas012: but....if shes lying....why?
srcgurl: Yeah.
srcgurl: she'd have to be some kind of Stacy-esque psychopath.
OldManSas012: for free cds from my shity bands and mix cds of a bunch of shitty bands she doesnt even like? cause thats all she gets from me
srcgurl: *laughs*
OldManSas012: oh..and we fuck alot about once every two years
srcgurl: btw, i don't know if you recall the psycho story of my best friend *used to be best friend.* but someone actually married her recently.
OldManSas012 look SHES BEAUTIFUL if she wanted to jerk some moron around she could find plenty of willing dupes out there
OldManSas012: AHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHHA that poor schmuck
OldManSas012: so anyways...back to the original thread of this.....BOTH OF THEM decide to tell me all this LAST SATURDAY NIGHT.....
srcgurl: Yep. he's from another country, so he probably missed the psycho bulletin on the way in.
srcgurl: after you lose your kid.
srcgurl: they decide to tell you this.
OldManSas012: yeah..they dont issue nutjob reports to the new guys
6:35PM
OldManSas012: yes
srcgurl: and i'll bet they're sorry now, because you ripped them new assholes.
OldManSas012: well.....this was at a resturaunt
OldManSas012: heres a funny thing..this is how it got started
OldManSas012: erika hands me a sheet with a list of flight to MONTREAL!
OldManSas012: and they tell me that they would either help pay for my flight to go see her or go with me....
OldManSas012: i hand it back saying well she lives in VANCOUVER but thanks and we already discussed that me going out there right now would be a bad idea
6:40PM
OldManSas012: and thats when erika gets this look on her face and im thinking...i might end up walking out of this resturaunt
OldManSas012: thats when she starts saying that she thinks shes fucking with me....
OldManSas012: and shes talks for a while and i kinda just tune her out
OldManSas012: she finishes and i look at genevieve and i say...what do you think?
srcgurl: *nods, sipping her tea* people are so fucking great, thinking they're helpful.
OldManSas012: and she says..theres been too many coincidences and blah blah blah
srcgurl: *laughs* Yeah, genevieve. and michelle gets off on fucking with people and making up stories!
OldManSas012: well i asked her i said...would you like me to have the hospital mail you the fucking fetus?
srcgurl: *shakes her head* Yeah, really.
srcgurl: I'm SURE someone would make all of this up.
OldManSas012: so i start to go for my wallet and they say dont and i say fine and i walk out and go home
6:45PM
srcgurl: and have you talked to them since?
OldManSas012: well..i had to....they came to my house afterwards
srcgurl: then what?
OldManSas012: well..i go home and i ask my parents....do they think michelle is faking it..because by then....im so shot i dont know what to think..like maybe EVERYONE thinks im being fucked with and no one is saying anything
srcgurl: Yeah
OldManSas012: so they tell me no....and they said even if she IS faking it YER the one that has to live with it...were just here to support you in whatever you feel you need to do
srcgurl: *nods* good parents.
OldManSas012: if this si what yer going to do we support you...if it turns out to be wrong...well be there to help you get things back together
OldManSas012: then..i har a knock at the door
srcgurl: Taaa daaaa
srcgurl: jerkoffs are here!
OldManSas012: and even my MOM says....youve GOT to be kidding me
6:50PM
srcgurl: *laughs!*
OldManSas012: so i go out *they were at the back door i had to go around the house*
OldManSas012: so im like WHO IS IT....and they come around the house and its like ten thirty at night
srcgurl: *laughs*
srcgurl: 10:30 at night and we're just here to piss you off some more, may we come inside?
OldManSas012: so i say you have TEN SECONDS
Marc Sabo: and they start to say were just wrroied and im like NO SHUT UP!!!
srcgurl: *shakes her head*
OldManSas012: and i just go off....yelling at THE TOP of my lungs
OldManSas012: and for a minute i stepped outside of myself and iw as like DUDE...someones gonna call cops....so i just start saying GET THE FUCK OUT OF HERE....GO!!!!
OldManSas012: and i start to head inside
srcgurl: *shakes her head*
OldManSas012: my father comes out
OldManSas012: and sends me inside and tells them to wait
srcgurl: yeah
OldManSas012: so...i go inside..and im shaking im so mad
OldManSas012: my mother is SERIOUSLY scared....
srcgurl: *nods*
OldManSas012: and i jsut sit down afer a while....and just kinda..calm down...even tho my head is RACING at like a million miles an hour
6:55PM
srcgurl: *nods*
srcgurl: yeah.
OldManSas012: so my dad comes back in..and he says..have you calmed down now?
OldManSas012: and i said..kinda
OldManSas012: and he syas can you come out and talk rationally?
OldManSas012: and i say...i can try
srcgurl: *smiles*
OldManSas012: so...i guess their point was is..they are worried what will happen if this IS fake
OldManSas012: and im thinking....CAN WE WAIT TILL THAT HAPPENS???
srcgurl: *laughs* Yeah. if it does.
srcgurl: i think they're thinking like, Melrose Place . People faking pregancies and shit.
srcgurl: Yeah, it all DOES sound really bad: but how do you think Michelle feels?
srcgurl: I mean: It happened to her. So how do they think SHE feels, if it's so bad that they think she's faking it?
OldManSas012: its just fucking stupid
OldManSas012: and theyre timing? AWFUL....my dad says he cant remember how many times he said that
srcgurl: *nods* Yeah, I agree with you.
7:00PM
srcgurl: Yeah, it's true. I mean: Did they KNOW that you'd just found out she lost the baby? And they timed it that way on purpose?
srcgurl: IF so, that's really just plain fucked up right there.
OldManSas012: YES they knew..thats why they wanted to buy me a ticket to go see her
srcgurl: *shakes her head* Yeah, i forgot about that part. Yeah: That's just super-awful bad timing. Even if you were THINKING of saying something like that; YOU JUST DON'T SAY IT, DUDE. That's COMMON SENSE.
OldManSas012: and did i MENTION they got prices for trips to montreal..NOT vancouver...you know WHERE SHE LIVES!
srcgurl: Exactly. *laughs*
OldManSas012: and i mentioned to them that they are THE ONLY PEOPLE IN MY CIRCLE OF FRINEDS making these accusations
srcgurl: here, we got you a ticket for montreal, you have to walk the rest of the way.
OldManSas012: AHAHA
srcgurl:
srcgurl: In that time you're walking, see if it's really worth it to you.
srcgurl: this is a test of your relationship.
OldManSas012: sometimes its better to let the bomb blow up thean it is to try and defuse it
OldManSas012: yer funny
srcgurl:
srcgurl: I try.
srcgurl: I hope it doesn't take that much longer for her to recover from all of this. For both of your sake.
7:05PM
OldManSas012: i basically left it at this..i told them...i dont think things are over.....but its going to be a while before i want to see either of you again
srcgurl: *nods* Yeah.
OldManSas012: and i cant even tell michelle...cause they are for the most part my best friends
OldManSas012: but FUCK man
srcgurl: That's awful. I couldn't imagine saying something like that to my best friend.
OldManSas012: AT THAT TIME??? THE FUCKING DAY SHE HAD TO DO ALL THAT??
OldManSas012: i woke up that fucking morning thinking of michelle..all alone..having to do all that.....for nothing
srcgurl: *nods* Yeah.
srcgurl: Did you guys have names picked out? Was your family happy about it?
OldManSas012: and then they decide to tell me that because they have a GUT feeling they should say something
OldManSas012: we had a name for the one that....well....survived i guess youd say
OldManSas012: my fam were REAL happy...
OldManSas012: my brother just had his boy
srcgurl: *nods* Yeah.
OldManSas012: we were gonna have a daughter.....
srcgurl: That's awful. I'm really sorry. What were you going to call her?
7:10PM
OldManSas012: soraya
OldManSas012: soraya karen......
srcgurl: *nods*
srcgurl: So i'm assuming that the doctor doesn't want her to get pregnant again, since she wasn't supposed to be able to get pregnant in the first place?
OldManSas012: we havent even got that far
srcgurl: yeah.
OldManSas012: michelle just doesnt want another kiddo even if it was possible.....im too scared of it not working again
srcgurl: *nods* Yeah.
srcgurl: so how's her family treating her?
OldManSas012: i thinkk if she hadnt had complications from the car incident thing....everything would be ok
OldManSas012: same as they always do...poorly
srcgurl: *shakes her head* So they aren't even helping or anything, and she's there by herself. That's horrible.
OldManSas012: i know
OldManSas012: healthwise michelles pretty normal they say..its just.....shes sore as fuck
7:15PM
srcgurl: *nods* Yeah, i'm sure.
OldManSas012: well..the induction.....it FORCE yer body to go to labor....i guess they do a test and the results are scored 0-8....she scored a zero
OldManSas012: the results are used to see if you should induce or not
srcgurl: right.
OldManSas012: so.....and because maybe i DID have my own doubts...or did after my "friends" decided to fuck me up
OldManSas012: i asked michelle if she had any pictures of her pregnant....
srcgurl: *nods*
OldManSas012: and i got them yesterday....looks pretty fucking pregnant to me....
OldManSas012: along with some hair she kept from soraya
srcgurl: *nods* Yeah.
srcgurl: But what if it's not your kid???????????
OldManSas012: and i wanted all that for another reason....i never saw her pregnant..and not that i didnt believe her.....it all just kinda seemed...not totally real you know?
srcgurl: dun dun duuuuuunnnnnn *melrose place music*
OldManSas012: ahaha
srcgurl: Yeah, i know what you mean. She wasn't there at all when she was pregnant?
OldManSas012: michelle and i kinda discussed that because we REMEMBER the night that she got pregnant
7:20PM
OldManSas012: you just have some nights were yer like SHIT.....i didnt do this or that...she MIGHT be pregnant now
OldManSas012: and we had ONE night like that
OldManSas012: so we kinda knew the night of conception
srcgurl: *nods*
OldManSas012: well...the doctors kept trying to say that she MUST have gotten pregnant the week BEFORE that
OldManSas012: because she was a LITTLE bigger than she was supposed to be...
OldManSas012: so finally michelle asked...is it IMPOSSIBLE for her to be this big now?
Marc Sabo: and they said no......and she said then SHUT UP
Marc Sabo: trsut me....it was mine..the girl is home ANYTIME i call...
OldManSas012: and she was way too busy the week before she left trying to wrap things up
srcgurl: *nods* I'm just kidding you, I know it was yours.
OldManSas012: i know but like i said..the question WAS there for a bit
srcgurl: but MAYBE, you should have a DNA test done on that hair! DUN DUN DUUUUUUUNN..... no, i'm done. *giggles* I'm done.
OldManSas012: IM WAITING FOR THAT SHIT
7:25PM
OldManSas012 if they start saying that then im done...i dont need that shit
srcgurl: yeah, i know. see, i'm KIDDING. they won't be.
srcgurl: that's sad.
OldManSas012: i hope theyve figured it the fuck out by now
OldManSas012: part of me wants to photocopy all the pictures she sent me and leave tehm attheir houses with a note that says ARE YOU STILL WORRIED???
OldManSas012: or NEED HELP TAKING THAT FOOT OUT OF YER MOUTH NOW?
srcgurl: yeah, i know what you mean.
srcgurl: with friends like that, who needs enemies..
OldManSas012: id like to call...id like to ask questions..but im still too pissed
srcgurl: yeah, it's probably better to wait on that.
OldManSas012: but..i just......i well..they HAVE to believe now.....but
7:30PM
OldManSas012: its fucked up...even my two other good friends *the band* i told them and they basically said....look...all i know is what you tell me...and that isnt everything....so how do i make a judgement on that
srcgurl: *nods*
OldManSas012: and its not like i walk around here COMPLAINING about how shes not here....i dont take the martyr pose PITY ME FOR I LIVE APART FROM MY GIRL!!!
OldManSas012: its MY choice...and i only say something whe people ask
srcgurl: *nods* yeah.
OldManSas012: so..i dont get why i have to hear shit about what I choose to do especially if i dont inflict it on others
srcgurl: yeah, i agree.
OldManSas012: and on that note....dinner is here....thanks for listening and thanks for not being retarded
srcgurl: *smiles*
OldManSas012: i hate going on about msyelf like that
srcgurl: It's ok. Anytime.
OldManSas012: *hugs* ill be back in two hours probably
srcgurl: *hugs* Ok, i might be around then.
OldManSas012: ok......see ya
srcgurl: bye
so...thats about it...thats been the main issue...theres been other shit but thats been the big issue...i still havent resolved anything with my friends about what happened...but im looking into maybe trying to talk to them sometime this weekend...well see how it goes...and i think thats about it for now....really....i dont think you need anymore....
next paper street soap co. show: nothing yet BUT YOU CAN HELP!!! GET BACK TO ME ABOUT THAT!
playlist:
neurosis: the eye of every storm
neurosis: a sun that never sets
arsis: a celebration of guilt
commit suicide: synthetics
capharnaum: fractured
old man gloom: christmas
pelican: australasia
pestilence: consuming impulse
meshuggah: nothing
godflesh: us and them
botch: an anthology of dead ends
botch: we are the romans
the dillinger escape plan: miss machine
emporer: in the nightside eclipse
dark funeral: the secrets of the black arts
khold: morke gravers kammer
cult of luna: the beyond
goatsblood: drull
primus: anti-pop
fear factory: archetype
*points to new profile pic* HOLY SHIT THOSE GUYS LOOK PISSED!!
quick band report: were writing new shit and im really pleased with what were doing and the way its turning out...its ridiculous how much better weve gotten at our instruments...we still suck tho...if anyone has any show leads in ohio or the surrounding areas feel free to hook us up...wed really appreciate it
now on to more serious fare: ive been making vague references to my personal life in this thing and how distressing its been...and now i feel its time to go into detail...its best summed up in this AIM conversation im about to post but first some background: im currently in a long distance relationship with a girl from vancouver, BC and weve been together for four years....in march she came out for a two and ahlf week visit and now the AIM conversation:
24 Jul 2004, 5:46PM
srcgurl: what's up dawg?
5:50PM
OldManSas012: hang on
srcgurl: yep.
5:55PM
OldManSas012: hey
OldManSas012: sorry
srcgurl: yeah yeah, sure.
srcgurl: *laughs* J/k. what's up?
OldManSas012: ugh.....when id we last talk?
srcgurl: i dunnno, dud.e
OldManSas012: did i tell you i was gonna be a dad?
srcgurl: NO!
OldManSas012: well..it doesnt matter.....we lost the child friday
OldManSas012: last friday
6:00PM
srcgurl: Damn! How far along was she?
OldManSas012: 5 and a half months
srcgurl: what happened?
OldManSas012: ugh....what HASNT happened
OldManSas012: did i mention shes still in vancouver? yeah...MORE stress
srcgurl: why's she still there?
OldManSas012: because the entire pregnancy was one big complication from the get go
srcgurl: Did she ever move out with you? or did she move with you and then go back?
OldManSas012: it was supposed to be twins
OldManSas012: she was here for two weeks and had to go back
srcgurl: what for??
srcgurl: how did she lose them?
OldManSas012: some stupid wedding....she was trying to keep things peaceable with her fam
srcgurl: oh ok. Then she ended up staying? what happened that she lost the babies?
OldManSas012: yeah...she ended up staying because they kept telling her that travel was a bad idea
6:05PM
srcgurl: ok..
OldManSas012: so..yes....first of all..this wasnt supposed to go longer than two weeks
OldManSas012: she was never even supposed to be able to get pregnant *long story*
srcgurl: Ok.
OldManSas012: but she did....
srcgurl: well, i was going to ask that, didn't she have all kinds of health problems before?
OldManSas012: and we waited the two weeks....and..well...we didnt lose her like we were told we would
OldManSas012: THEN we found out it was twins....
srcgurl: *nods*
OldManSas012: then we found out that her body was barely coping with twins....the doctors said that we should really consider doing a "reduction"
OldManSas012: or else theres a high chance wed lose both
OldManSas012: so...thats what we did
srcgurl: you did the reduction?
OldManSas012: yeah
srcgurl: Ok.
OldManSas012: well.....what they do is....its kinda like a lethal injection.....and then the two fetuses should separateand they go clean everything up so to speak....well..they didnt separate
6:10PM
OldManSas012: so they had to go in and manually separate them
OldManSas012: god i sound so clinical....
OldManSas012: but i dont know how else to say all thius
srcgurl: *smiles* it's ok. go on.
OldManSas012: so..they did
OldManSas012: but things werestill not given that good of a chance
srcgurl: because of her health?
OldManSas012: yeah..but we figured we had to try...
srcgurl: *nods* Yeah.
OldManSas012: and after a few months or so..things were starting to look better
srcgurl: yeah
OldManSas012: and they had just given her permission to NOT lay around in bed all day and do nothing
OldManSas012: OH..and her family knew NOTHING of any of this..well..no..if they knew they refused to acknowledge it
srcgurl: that she was pregnant??
OldManSas012: it became fairly obvious after a while she was either getting fat or preggers
OldManSas012: yeah...it became the big elephant in the room no one talked about...just like everyhting else in that family
srcgurl: Oh lord. so her family sucks, basically.
OldManSas012: like you wouldnt believe
OldManSas012: reason number 389945059943 why she wants out of there
srcgurl: *nods*
OldManSas012: so..back to the story
OldManSas012: she had just gotten permission to get up and walk around and be a little more active
OldManSas012: so she was out walking to her firends house who lives like...minutes away
srcgurl: *nods*
6:15PM
OldManSas012: and he ends up gettig hit by a car...and knocking into her...and making her fall....face first
OldManSas012: so they get her to a hospital and things look kinda serious but eventually they kinda clear up
srcgurl: Oh good LORD. You guys have the worst luck in the WORLD.
srcgurl: gets hit by a CAR? DAMN.
OldManSas012: our luck sucks..so much that certain people have problems beliveing things..but well discuss that later
OldManSas012: but even after that..they thought things were gonna be ok....
srcgurl: damn.
OldManSas012: but then last week...she was starting to have some serious problems..kind of relating back to the accident...she *the child* wasnt growing like she should and all that....
OldManSas012: and then friday morning....michelle doesnt feel the kiddo move
srcgurl: *nods*
OldManSas012: so she calls the doctor...the doctor comes to see her....and she cant find a heartbeat
OldManSas012: so.....that was that
Marc Sabo: michelle unfortunately had to give birth anyways
srcgurl: Damn.
srcgurl: That's awful.
OldManSas012: she delivered saturday
6:20PM
OldManSas012: and thus ends that part of the saga
OldManSas012: i wanted to go up there..but we both decided that it would probably be a bad idea
OldManSas012: as much as i wanted to be there for her and vice versa
srcgurl: *nods*
srcgurl: And she's still THERE??
OldManSas012: shes pretty fucked up
OldManSas012: she can barely walk
srcgurl: well she needs to be home with YOU.
srcgurl: Do you guys have your own place?
OldManSas012: no..but my folks know everything and really like her
OldManSas012: i know she needs to be here...but really....the doctor comes to HER to take her for check ups
srcgurl: *nods* so she was living with you and your parents, then?
OldManSas012: yeah..and it went ridiculously well
srcgurl: Yeah. I imagine so. Sounds like the last place she needs to be is with HER family.
OldManSas012: i know....but she says that its impossible to do right now and i believe her
6:25PM
OldManSas012: and if i go out there..and she doesnt leave with me and we have to separate...is that really gonna help anything?
srcgurl: yeah, it sounds that way if she can barely walk. How long do they think it's going to take for her to recover?
OldManSas012: dont know.....shes not sleeping well and cant eat anything and keep it down
srcgurl: *shakes her head* Damn.
OldManSas012: i know
srcgurl: that's just horrible.
OldManSas012: this year can eat me
srcgurl: me and Ev joke about having "the curse" but you guys definately have it worse.
OldManSas012: i think god hates one of us......probably her....i cant figure out why tho
srcgurl: So who doesn't believe that this stuff happens to you guys?
srcgurl: Her family?
OldManSas012: two of my friends
OldManSas012: its actually an interesting situation
OldManSas012: and by interesting i mean it can go fuck itself in the ass with a chainsaw
srcgurl: *laughs*
6:30PM
srcgurl: That sounds like real good friends, there, buddy.
OldManSas012: theyve BOTH mentioned in the past they think shes fucking with me..
OldManSas012: ive been friends with them for over ten years....
srcgurl: *nods*
OldManSas012: but i think the fact that i KEEP DOING THIS kind of insinuates that IM WILLING TO TAKE THE FUCKING CHANCE!
srcgurl: *nods* Yeah. That's really nice friends.
OldManSas012: look.....i know my relationship looks WIERD and yeah her stupid amounts of bad luck can appear to be bullshit....
OldManSas012: i admit ALL of this....ive even called her on it
OldManSas012: but....if shes lying....why?
srcgurl: Yeah.
srcgurl: she'd have to be some kind of Stacy-esque psychopath.
OldManSas012: for free cds from my shity bands and mix cds of a bunch of shitty bands she doesnt even like? cause thats all she gets from me
srcgurl: *laughs*
OldManSas012: oh..and we fuck alot about once every two years
srcgurl: btw, i don't know if you recall the psycho story of my best friend *used to be best friend.* but someone actually married her recently.
OldManSas012 look SHES BEAUTIFUL if she wanted to jerk some moron around she could find plenty of willing dupes out there
OldManSas012: AHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHHA that poor schmuck
OldManSas012: so anyways...back to the original thread of this.....BOTH OF THEM decide to tell me all this LAST SATURDAY NIGHT.....
srcgurl: Yep. he's from another country, so he probably missed the psycho bulletin on the way in.
srcgurl: after you lose your kid.
srcgurl: they decide to tell you this.
OldManSas012: yeah..they dont issue nutjob reports to the new guys
6:35PM
OldManSas012: yes
srcgurl: and i'll bet they're sorry now, because you ripped them new assholes.
OldManSas012: well.....this was at a resturaunt
OldManSas012: heres a funny thing..this is how it got started
OldManSas012: erika hands me a sheet with a list of flight to MONTREAL!
OldManSas012: and they tell me that they would either help pay for my flight to go see her or go with me....
OldManSas012: i hand it back saying well she lives in VANCOUVER but thanks and we already discussed that me going out there right now would be a bad idea
6:40PM
OldManSas012: and thats when erika gets this look on her face and im thinking...i might end up walking out of this resturaunt
OldManSas012: thats when she starts saying that she thinks shes fucking with me....
OldManSas012: and shes talks for a while and i kinda just tune her out
OldManSas012: she finishes and i look at genevieve and i say...what do you think?
srcgurl: *nods, sipping her tea* people are so fucking great, thinking they're helpful.
OldManSas012: and she says..theres been too many coincidences and blah blah blah
srcgurl: *laughs* Yeah, genevieve. and michelle gets off on fucking with people and making up stories!
OldManSas012: well i asked her i said...would you like me to have the hospital mail you the fucking fetus?
srcgurl: *shakes her head* Yeah, really.
srcgurl: I'm SURE someone would make all of this up.
OldManSas012: so i start to go for my wallet and they say dont and i say fine and i walk out and go home
6:45PM
srcgurl: and have you talked to them since?
OldManSas012: well..i had to....they came to my house afterwards
srcgurl: then what?
OldManSas012: well..i go home and i ask my parents....do they think michelle is faking it..because by then....im so shot i dont know what to think..like maybe EVERYONE thinks im being fucked with and no one is saying anything
srcgurl: Yeah
OldManSas012: so they tell me no....and they said even if she IS faking it YER the one that has to live with it...were just here to support you in whatever you feel you need to do
srcgurl: *nods* good parents.
OldManSas012: if this si what yer going to do we support you...if it turns out to be wrong...well be there to help you get things back together
OldManSas012: then..i har a knock at the door
srcgurl: Taaa daaaa
srcgurl: jerkoffs are here!
OldManSas012: and even my MOM says....youve GOT to be kidding me
6:50PM
srcgurl: *laughs!*
OldManSas012: so i go out *they were at the back door i had to go around the house*
OldManSas012: so im like WHO IS IT....and they come around the house and its like ten thirty at night
srcgurl: *laughs*
srcgurl: 10:30 at night and we're just here to piss you off some more, may we come inside?
OldManSas012: so i say you have TEN SECONDS
Marc Sabo: and they start to say were just wrroied and im like NO SHUT UP!!!
srcgurl: *shakes her head*
OldManSas012: and i just go off....yelling at THE TOP of my lungs
OldManSas012: and for a minute i stepped outside of myself and iw as like DUDE...someones gonna call cops....so i just start saying GET THE FUCK OUT OF HERE....GO!!!!
OldManSas012: and i start to head inside
srcgurl: *shakes her head*
OldManSas012: my father comes out
OldManSas012: and sends me inside and tells them to wait
srcgurl: yeah
OldManSas012: so...i go inside..and im shaking im so mad
OldManSas012: my mother is SERIOUSLY scared....
srcgurl: *nods*
OldManSas012: and i jsut sit down afer a while....and just kinda..calm down...even tho my head is RACING at like a million miles an hour
6:55PM
srcgurl: *nods*
srcgurl: yeah.
OldManSas012: so my dad comes back in..and he says..have you calmed down now?
OldManSas012: and i said..kinda
OldManSas012: and he syas can you come out and talk rationally?
OldManSas012: and i say...i can try
srcgurl: *smiles*
OldManSas012: so...i guess their point was is..they are worried what will happen if this IS fake
OldManSas012: and im thinking....CAN WE WAIT TILL THAT HAPPENS???
srcgurl: *laughs* Yeah. if it does.
srcgurl: i think they're thinking like, Melrose Place . People faking pregancies and shit.
srcgurl: Yeah, it all DOES sound really bad: but how do you think Michelle feels?
srcgurl: I mean: It happened to her. So how do they think SHE feels, if it's so bad that they think she's faking it?
OldManSas012: its just fucking stupid
OldManSas012: and theyre timing? AWFUL....my dad says he cant remember how many times he said that
srcgurl: *nods* Yeah, I agree with you.
7:00PM
srcgurl: Yeah, it's true. I mean: Did they KNOW that you'd just found out she lost the baby? And they timed it that way on purpose?
srcgurl: IF so, that's really just plain fucked up right there.
OldManSas012: YES they knew..thats why they wanted to buy me a ticket to go see her
srcgurl: *shakes her head* Yeah, i forgot about that part. Yeah: That's just super-awful bad timing. Even if you were THINKING of saying something like that; YOU JUST DON'T SAY IT, DUDE. That's COMMON SENSE.
OldManSas012: and did i MENTION they got prices for trips to montreal..NOT vancouver...you know WHERE SHE LIVES!
srcgurl: Exactly. *laughs*
OldManSas012: and i mentioned to them that they are THE ONLY PEOPLE IN MY CIRCLE OF FRINEDS making these accusations
srcgurl: here, we got you a ticket for montreal, you have to walk the rest of the way.
OldManSas012: AHAHA
srcgurl:
srcgurl: In that time you're walking, see if it's really worth it to you.
srcgurl: this is a test of your relationship.
OldManSas012: sometimes its better to let the bomb blow up thean it is to try and defuse it
OldManSas012: yer funny
srcgurl:
srcgurl: I try.
srcgurl: I hope it doesn't take that much longer for her to recover from all of this. For both of your sake.
7:05PM
OldManSas012: i basically left it at this..i told them...i dont think things are over.....but its going to be a while before i want to see either of you again
srcgurl: *nods* Yeah.
OldManSas012: and i cant even tell michelle...cause they are for the most part my best friends
OldManSas012: but FUCK man
srcgurl: That's awful. I couldn't imagine saying something like that to my best friend.
OldManSas012: AT THAT TIME??? THE FUCKING DAY SHE HAD TO DO ALL THAT??
OldManSas012: i woke up that fucking morning thinking of michelle..all alone..having to do all that.....for nothing
srcgurl: *nods* Yeah.
srcgurl: Did you guys have names picked out? Was your family happy about it?
OldManSas012: and then they decide to tell me that because they have a GUT feeling they should say something
OldManSas012: we had a name for the one that....well....survived i guess youd say
OldManSas012: my fam were REAL happy...
OldManSas012: my brother just had his boy
srcgurl: *nods* Yeah.
OldManSas012: we were gonna have a daughter.....
srcgurl: That's awful. I'm really sorry. What were you going to call her?
7:10PM
OldManSas012: soraya
OldManSas012: soraya karen......
srcgurl: *nods*
srcgurl: So i'm assuming that the doctor doesn't want her to get pregnant again, since she wasn't supposed to be able to get pregnant in the first place?
OldManSas012: we havent even got that far
srcgurl: yeah.
OldManSas012: michelle just doesnt want another kiddo even if it was possible.....im too scared of it not working again
srcgurl: *nods* Yeah.
srcgurl: so how's her family treating her?
OldManSas012: i thinkk if she hadnt had complications from the car incident thing....everything would be ok
OldManSas012: same as they always do...poorly
srcgurl: *shakes her head* So they aren't even helping or anything, and she's there by herself. That's horrible.
OldManSas012: i know
OldManSas012: healthwise michelles pretty normal they say..its just.....shes sore as fuck
7:15PM
srcgurl: *nods* Yeah, i'm sure.
OldManSas012: well..the induction.....it FORCE yer body to go to labor....i guess they do a test and the results are scored 0-8....she scored a zero
OldManSas012: the results are used to see if you should induce or not
srcgurl: right.
OldManSas012: so.....and because maybe i DID have my own doubts...or did after my "friends" decided to fuck me up
OldManSas012: i asked michelle if she had any pictures of her pregnant....
srcgurl: *nods*
OldManSas012: and i got them yesterday....looks pretty fucking pregnant to me....
OldManSas012: along with some hair she kept from soraya
srcgurl: *nods* Yeah.
srcgurl: But what if it's not your kid???????????
OldManSas012: and i wanted all that for another reason....i never saw her pregnant..and not that i didnt believe her.....it all just kinda seemed...not totally real you know?
srcgurl: dun dun duuuuuunnnnnn *melrose place music*
OldManSas012: ahaha
srcgurl: Yeah, i know what you mean. She wasn't there at all when she was pregnant?
OldManSas012: michelle and i kinda discussed that because we REMEMBER the night that she got pregnant
7:20PM
OldManSas012: you just have some nights were yer like SHIT.....i didnt do this or that...she MIGHT be pregnant now
OldManSas012: and we had ONE night like that
OldManSas012: so we kinda knew the night of conception
srcgurl: *nods*
OldManSas012: well...the doctors kept trying to say that she MUST have gotten pregnant the week BEFORE that
OldManSas012: because she was a LITTLE bigger than she was supposed to be...
OldManSas012: so finally michelle asked...is it IMPOSSIBLE for her to be this big now?
Marc Sabo: and they said no......and she said then SHUT UP
Marc Sabo: trsut me....it was mine..the girl is home ANYTIME i call...
OldManSas012: and she was way too busy the week before she left trying to wrap things up
srcgurl: *nods* I'm just kidding you, I know it was yours.
OldManSas012: i know but like i said..the question WAS there for a bit
srcgurl: but MAYBE, you should have a DNA test done on that hair! DUN DUN DUUUUUUUNN..... no, i'm done. *giggles* I'm done.
OldManSas012: IM WAITING FOR THAT SHIT
7:25PM
OldManSas012 if they start saying that then im done...i dont need that shit
srcgurl: yeah, i know. see, i'm KIDDING. they won't be.
srcgurl: that's sad.
OldManSas012: i hope theyve figured it the fuck out by now
OldManSas012: part of me wants to photocopy all the pictures she sent me and leave tehm attheir houses with a note that says ARE YOU STILL WORRIED???
OldManSas012: or NEED HELP TAKING THAT FOOT OUT OF YER MOUTH NOW?
srcgurl: yeah, i know what you mean.
srcgurl: with friends like that, who needs enemies..
OldManSas012: id like to call...id like to ask questions..but im still too pissed
srcgurl: yeah, it's probably better to wait on that.
OldManSas012: but..i just......i well..they HAVE to believe now.....but
7:30PM
OldManSas012: its fucked up...even my two other good friends *the band* i told them and they basically said....look...all i know is what you tell me...and that isnt everything....so how do i make a judgement on that
srcgurl: *nods*
OldManSas012: and its not like i walk around here COMPLAINING about how shes not here....i dont take the martyr pose PITY ME FOR I LIVE APART FROM MY GIRL!!!
OldManSas012: its MY choice...and i only say something whe people ask
srcgurl: *nods* yeah.
OldManSas012: so..i dont get why i have to hear shit about what I choose to do especially if i dont inflict it on others
srcgurl: yeah, i agree.
OldManSas012: and on that note....dinner is here....thanks for listening and thanks for not being retarded
srcgurl: *smiles*
OldManSas012: i hate going on about msyelf like that
srcgurl: It's ok. Anytime.
OldManSas012: *hugs* ill be back in two hours probably
srcgurl: *hugs* Ok, i might be around then.
OldManSas012: ok......see ya
srcgurl: bye
so...thats about it...thats been the main issue...theres been other shit but thats been the big issue...i still havent resolved anything with my friends about what happened...but im looking into maybe trying to talk to them sometime this weekend...well see how it goes...and i think thats about it for now....really....i dont think you need anymore....
next paper street soap co. show: nothing yet BUT YOU CAN HELP!!! GET BACK TO ME ABOUT THAT!
playlist:
neurosis: the eye of every storm
neurosis: a sun that never sets
arsis: a celebration of guilt
commit suicide: synthetics
capharnaum: fractured
old man gloom: christmas
pelican: australasia
pestilence: consuming impulse
meshuggah: nothing
godflesh: us and them
botch: an anthology of dead ends
botch: we are the romans
the dillinger escape plan: miss machine
emporer: in the nightside eclipse
dark funeral: the secrets of the black arts
khold: morke gravers kammer
cult of luna: the beyond
goatsblood: drull
primus: anti-pop
fear factory: archetype
VIEW 3 of 3 COMMENTS
kurtz:
more drama than i would be able to stand...... better times are coming, sir......
binkymcqueen:
I have lost a child-that sucks bro...but the fates have spoken...just balance yourself and look ahead...as my brother Kurtz has pointed out...better days are ahead...