"Uninvited feelings, they come without a warning and they stay to long..."
Ugh, I've been feeling like shit for the better part of the past two weeks. I can't seem to shake these thoughts of loneliness and failure. I went to my cousins wedding this weekend, one of the best I've ever been too. And while I was so happy for he and his wife and parents, it left me feeling like shit. Seemingly everyone there had someone in their live but me. I know its not that simple, but thats how it felt. There is such a lack of affection in my life, not just in the present, but throughout, and its finally taking its toll on me. the fact that I've failed in nearly everything I've tried hasn't done anything to boost my confidence. My days are blurs of jerking off watching TV. I'm wasting my life. I should be shot for this. More later, I can't fucking write anymore at this moment, not like anyone is reading this anyway.
Ugh, I've been feeling like shit for the better part of the past two weeks. I can't seem to shake these thoughts of loneliness and failure. I went to my cousins wedding this weekend, one of the best I've ever been too. And while I was so happy for he and his wife and parents, it left me feeling like shit. Seemingly everyone there had someone in their live but me. I know its not that simple, but thats how it felt. There is such a lack of affection in my life, not just in the present, but throughout, and its finally taking its toll on me. the fact that I've failed in nearly everything I've tried hasn't done anything to boost my confidence. My days are blurs of jerking off watching TV. I'm wasting my life. I should be shot for this. More later, I can't fucking write anymore at this moment, not like anyone is reading this anyway.
-sarah