sarcastro

"Depression's got a hold of me, depression I gotta break free..."

It never lasts too long, the moments of happiness I am blessed with between the periods of shitty, stupid ass, suicidal thoughts. Yesterday I was hanging out with some of my friends. I noticed how happy one of my friends was with her girlfriend. They've been in love for almost 2 years now. This just set me off inside. While I am very happy for the both of them, it sucked seeing something that seems so unattainable for me, yet something I crave with all my heart. I keep telling myself its only a matter of time, enjoy the freedom while you have, etc...but these thoughts provide minimal comfort. Sometimes I'll see a happy family walking in down the street, laughing, smiling, cheerful. Its pains me to know that I was once a part of something like that and that its been trashed. At least I had those times, but you can only miss what you once had, and feeling like it will never be in life again makes matters worse.

Fuck it all, I need to get something to eat. At least pizza never lets me down (unless I burn it in the oven, boo-hoo...)