sarahphina

things have changed so much when you think they have hardly changed at all. its all above thrown in the air and you walk underneath unexpected til its all over you. like bird shit. rubbed in your hair gum and peanutbutter and you cant get it out. no matter how hard you try til you give in. chop it all off. pure frustration.

the right way or the wrong way whos to choose except for yourself. til you realize your not capable of making that decision. do you get even or just let it go? be the bigger somebody or the lower dog. the no body.

leave what you thought was finally real. and you only know no chance in hell. how can that be real. hear you father slur the words so harsh they stop your breath and you mother backs them up and you wonder am i really that big of a problem? am i the one who put them on antidepressents? and then your mind opens and your eyes close and you know the truth. that is all true. the failure. the loser. the whore.

one slap after the other til your face is red and your nose it bleeds but then your shoulders sag and you let the current take you, drag you under. theres no time to breath. just float. shut off every feeling and everything you thought you where working for, fighting for. until the time to rise comes and you take a deep breath.

when ever that is.