sarah

just woke up, had a bunch of coffee, looked at the beautiful new photos of linz...i feel so restless, like i want to be doing a million things but don't know where to start. maybe a bike ride? i was feeling very low last night and decided to hook up my new record player-i read bell hooks while listening to will oldham and then took a bath at 2 am and dranks tons of water...the book made me feel so much more capable, the water made my body feel alive again, and the music made me feel at home finally. i stayed up til 4 am and just laid around in my undies reading about the nature of american patriarchy. i got my first real sleep in months. it's amazing how paying a little attention to yourself can turn things around in your head. i don't know if anyone has the same issue, but i have really incredible friends, and they are all high maintainence because we do so much for one another-i like it that way, but i have had some really rough times over the past year and must finally take some of my attention away from them and focus on myself-this makes people angry and me guilty, but it needs to happen...anyone else playing this particular balancing game? it's exhausting.
it's nice to have this outlet and source for advice from you guys-unbiased opinions are very important.
i wanna ride my bike around for a bit, fly to san francisco and see camille who's face i miss with all of my confused, battle scarred heart, find a job for 3 weeks that pays me too much $$, fly to new york, see my family, and then off to europe with my bike. what do you think? can someone make it happen? please?!!!
much adoration to jolene, zona, and voltaire, i remembered today how beautiful things are when you have lovely ladies like these around...