my family are a bunch of fucking nut cases and I am more than a bit tired of them. I think we could go down as one the top 100 of families with the lowest self esteem. I am tired of being the bigger fucking person, the responsble person. FUCK THAT SHIT. Why won't they get some damn counseling?
My not so crazy cousin told me yesterday that our granny told her that she does feel that she's pretty and that she doesn't like the way she looks(this is my granny saying this about herself). Now my grandmother is a beautiful old woman but she dresses extra frumpy, now, not always. After hearing this things suddenly made so much sense to me.
My grandmother can tend to be a bit mean and brutally honest. My mother never felt like she was pretty growing up and barely now. Granny had no problem letting me now how un-thin I was. My uncles and mother tell about about the lack of overt affecttion they recieved, and other stuff that was unneccesary. Now don't get me wrong she is a good person just one of these 'I did it on my own, so you should too', when inreality she got a lot more help and support from my great-grand than she ever gave to hers. There is more however. . .
The whole point is that once I found out how she felt about herself, all that other shit made perfect sense and goes back to the old theory that most people are mean because they think lowly of themselves. So I try and share this with my mother in an effort to help her feel better about herself and lend some clarity to situation. Why the fuck did I do that? Did she hear what I said? No, she heard what the fuck she wanted. So now I'm upset.
DAMN
I fucking refuse to be consumed by unhappiness.
This is gonna seem of the mark to some of you but you all need to hear it.
I don't play the blame game but dammit many of my grandmothers hang-ups that have hurt many of my family members stems from our history of being Black in america. I'ts the fucked up stigmas and ideaologies that have been passed down from slavery times that require all balck people to need life time counseling.
FUCK YOU colonialism for fucking up the family dynamics!
anyway,. . .
I am tired of bieng the bigger person but what I am I going to do, they still my fucking family.
damn, damn, DAMN! (what chu know about them Good Times?)
pheewww
My not so crazy cousin told me yesterday that our granny told her that she does feel that she's pretty and that she doesn't like the way she looks(this is my granny saying this about herself). Now my grandmother is a beautiful old woman but she dresses extra frumpy, now, not always. After hearing this things suddenly made so much sense to me.
My grandmother can tend to be a bit mean and brutally honest. My mother never felt like she was pretty growing up and barely now. Granny had no problem letting me now how un-thin I was. My uncles and mother tell about about the lack of overt affecttion they recieved, and other stuff that was unneccesary. Now don't get me wrong she is a good person just one of these 'I did it on my own, so you should too', when inreality she got a lot more help and support from my great-grand than she ever gave to hers. There is more however. . .
The whole point is that once I found out how she felt about herself, all that other shit made perfect sense and goes back to the old theory that most people are mean because they think lowly of themselves. So I try and share this with my mother in an effort to help her feel better about herself and lend some clarity to situation. Why the fuck did I do that? Did she hear what I said? No, she heard what the fuck she wanted. So now I'm upset.
DAMN
I fucking refuse to be consumed by unhappiness.
This is gonna seem of the mark to some of you but you all need to hear it.
I don't play the blame game but dammit many of my grandmothers hang-ups that have hurt many of my family members stems from our history of being Black in america. I'ts the fucked up stigmas and ideaologies that have been passed down from slavery times that require all balck people to need life time counseling.
FUCK YOU colonialism for fucking up the family dynamics!
anyway,. . .
I am tired of bieng the bigger person but what I am I going to do, they still my fucking family.
damn, damn, DAMN! (what chu know about them Good Times?)
pheewww
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in truth, i think everyone could use counseling. there is no one who is fully self composed, has perfect self esteem, or doesn't have bad days. sometimes people just need someone to talk to.
having said that, don't let others' negativity weigh you down. you have to look out for you and protect and love yourself first.
I'm glad that things made perfect sense to you. At least you are one person who now knows the source, and do all things not stem from a source?
Like your wild onions and the ones that threaten to take over my yard? One little onion bulb...