I don't really expect that anyone reads this.
It doesn't really matter anyway, I just feel to just put things out there, maybe it'll help my head to clear a bit and to gain some perspective...
Today I hit rock bottom.
I think depression has been building up slowly. I had a rather bad break-up a few months ago, followed by illness in close family.
I think work just postponed everything.
I've had the worst of moodswings, from almost being hysterically happy one day to extremely depressed the other day. Total absence of energy, but not able to sleep.
When I woke up today I couldn't manage to get out of bed. It seemed physically impossible. When I finally managed and got to the shower I just sat there for an hour just crying, holding a razor to my wrists wanting to end everything.
I've always been good at handling everyone else's depressions and hard times, but I don't know how to deal with my own, and it scares the shit out of me....
It doesn't really matter anyway, I just feel to just put things out there, maybe it'll help my head to clear a bit and to gain some perspective...
Today I hit rock bottom.
I think depression has been building up slowly. I had a rather bad break-up a few months ago, followed by illness in close family.
I think work just postponed everything.
I've had the worst of moodswings, from almost being hysterically happy one day to extremely depressed the other day. Total absence of energy, but not able to sleep.
When I woke up today I couldn't manage to get out of bed. It seemed physically impossible. When I finally managed and got to the shower I just sat there for an hour just crying, holding a razor to my wrists wanting to end everything.
I've always been good at handling everyone else's depressions and hard times, but I don't know how to deal with my own, and it scares the shit out of me....
I got through similar phases and Its tough but you have made a good satar in Its a good start in that you realise that the problem is depression. "Methodology"s advice is good; go see a professional....theres lots of things they can suggest to help you out of this little rut and remember that these feelings will pass and when you come out of the other side everything will seem rosey, I promise and Trust me, I'm a Doctor*!
*I'm a doctor of Engineering, but lets not get pedantic hey??!!)