Life tastes kinda like Vittoria
I woke up today and life felt like black coffee. I was so tired but going back to bed simply wasnt possible. Greg returned from Amsterdam the night before last, expressly to see me before he went back home. He brought me lots of Hazelnut Chocolate. I spent the last two nights at his place and did the dirty with him (unbelievable. After 6 weeks of knowing him and sleeping in the same bed all this while Ive really been exercising self-control) Then again, theres the fact that hes not around most of the week anyway. Hes paying too much on his place, and Ive offered to look for a nicer one for him, and do all the furniture shopping etc. and fix it all up when hes not around. Hes been so very kind to give me liberties over his apartment, I am quite thoroughly surprised.
My moms found out I went to HK, Big deal, I kinda actually wanted her to. Left a bunch of receipts around and my ticket stubs. I dont think Ill ever tell her the truth though, I cannot possible see what is there to be worried about. Sometimes I feel as if she feels that Im slipping away, and shes just trying to hold on to me but she knows she cant (if they threaten to throw me out of the house, I will just stay out, and if they stop giving me money which they dont anymore, really- what difference would that make-) Im surprised at the people Ive met in the last couple of months that have been very willing to help me out. And if push comes to shove, at least Im not broke. (I know Im oh so sans-Asian when it comes to this kinda things, filial piety and what not, but theres how else am I supposed to go about it? Ill spend time with my mom if she wants me to, but everyone has to grow up sometime) I cannot stand how she tries to use emotional blackmail on me all the fucking time. For Christs-sakes, the whole, if you had a daughter, how would you feel excuse is just so weak. Shes her mothers daughter, and shes not living with her any more, neither does she tell her mom where shes going or any such thing. Im sensible enough to figure things out on my own, and Im responsible for my own well-being, and I must say, aside from her, Im doing very well.
Gregs cooks for me all the time, takes me shopping for CDs, and has promised hell try his best to go to Auckland with me come June (I really, really miss NZ) Hes been so incredibly sweet (promised me his undying love and dedicated attention, in return for a packet of Japanese noodles every time I want him to cook dinner). I wont say hes a fall back after M, he is who he is, and I cannot stand treating anyone as a what-do-you-call-them? Ah, Rebounds. He is who he is, is crazy about me, and not clandestine about our relationship, although he has much more to lose then M, if anyone ever finds out. And oh, he doesnt mind the fact that Im not exclusive and will never be, although he would very much wish it.
Maybe Ill be going Bangkok this weekend, but I hope Chris comes down instead. That way I can get him to buy me that PowerBook I really, really want. When I that, and bring over my trainers and gym outfit to Gregs place, a bunch of clean panties, Ill not have to come home if Id rather not. And when hes back with his wife, I hope to be in Paris.
In the meantime, Ill be partying with the Jim Bean Party Crew along Mhd Sultan tonight!
PS. My apologies for not answering my emails, especially the longer ones. I still read them all, but there just isnt the time for replying these days.
xoxox
Designed some coffee cups for Vittoria Coffee and my favourite cafe (they have a red/black thing going on...)
I woke up today and life felt like black coffee. I was so tired but going back to bed simply wasnt possible. Greg returned from Amsterdam the night before last, expressly to see me before he went back home. He brought me lots of Hazelnut Chocolate. I spent the last two nights at his place and did the dirty with him (unbelievable. After 6 weeks of knowing him and sleeping in the same bed all this while Ive really been exercising self-control) Then again, theres the fact that hes not around most of the week anyway. Hes paying too much on his place, and Ive offered to look for a nicer one for him, and do all the furniture shopping etc. and fix it all up when hes not around. Hes been so very kind to give me liberties over his apartment, I am quite thoroughly surprised.
My moms found out I went to HK, Big deal, I kinda actually wanted her to. Left a bunch of receipts around and my ticket stubs. I dont think Ill ever tell her the truth though, I cannot possible see what is there to be worried about. Sometimes I feel as if she feels that Im slipping away, and shes just trying to hold on to me but she knows she cant (if they threaten to throw me out of the house, I will just stay out, and if they stop giving me money which they dont anymore, really- what difference would that make-) Im surprised at the people Ive met in the last couple of months that have been very willing to help me out. And if push comes to shove, at least Im not broke. (I know Im oh so sans-Asian when it comes to this kinda things, filial piety and what not, but theres how else am I supposed to go about it? Ill spend time with my mom if she wants me to, but everyone has to grow up sometime) I cannot stand how she tries to use emotional blackmail on me all the fucking time. For Christs-sakes, the whole, if you had a daughter, how would you feel excuse is just so weak. Shes her mothers daughter, and shes not living with her any more, neither does she tell her mom where shes going or any such thing. Im sensible enough to figure things out on my own, and Im responsible for my own well-being, and I must say, aside from her, Im doing very well.
Gregs cooks for me all the time, takes me shopping for CDs, and has promised hell try his best to go to Auckland with me come June (I really, really miss NZ) Hes been so incredibly sweet (promised me his undying love and dedicated attention, in return for a packet of Japanese noodles every time I want him to cook dinner). I wont say hes a fall back after M, he is who he is, and I cannot stand treating anyone as a what-do-you-call-them? Ah, Rebounds. He is who he is, is crazy about me, and not clandestine about our relationship, although he has much more to lose then M, if anyone ever finds out. And oh, he doesnt mind the fact that Im not exclusive and will never be, although he would very much wish it.
Maybe Ill be going Bangkok this weekend, but I hope Chris comes down instead. That way I can get him to buy me that PowerBook I really, really want. When I that, and bring over my trainers and gym outfit to Gregs place, a bunch of clean panties, Ill not have to come home if Id rather not. And when hes back with his wife, I hope to be in Paris.
In the meantime, Ill be partying with the Jim Bean Party Crew along Mhd Sultan tonight!
PS. My apologies for not answering my emails, especially the longer ones. I still read them all, but there just isnt the time for replying these days.
xoxox
Designed some coffee cups for Vittoria Coffee and my favourite cafe (they have a red/black thing going on...)
VIEW 3 of 3 COMMENTS
mrdelicious:
the cups look great. I don't know what impresses me more your art or your writing
67commando:
You are very much you're own woman, but be careful of the wolf, cuz he's out there sure as you are sittin outside the cafe`. I'll put a good word in for ya, but I can't guarantee anyghing cuz if I were he, you'd be in my heart forever and ever. 