Being in love is the biggest joke. Sometimes I wish he would just tell me to sod off already, so I dont have to go through all the insecurity. Its completely unbelievable. So what if he doesnt send me a text? I dont send a billion other guys texts, even though theyd want it, and I dont care for texts from them either. Theyre good looking, rich, intelligent; what is it with this one bastard. Maybe I just want to be in love, and hes just better. Why? Because he can tell me the story of his life like it was so very melancholy, because he doesnt treat me like a lets-just-see-each-other-for the-sex kinda girl, because of a billion other things. Because hes the best sex I can remember having, and because he makes me feel sad.
Youre in love with being in love.
So? I snapped back. Even then, I cannot be in love with nothing. Im in love with being in love with you, cant you see. You know these things, deep inside you know. The girl you wanted to marry a year back, you knew she felt too mediocre compared to you, thats why she couldnt.
I could die, god-damnit.
The joke gets even better. Im embarrassingly obsessive and close-minded when Im in love, and I actually like it. I wouldnt like it at all (and thats putting it very mildly) if he said no more. I started working on a comic for his birthday, and everything breathes the sort of psycho mind-fuck he plays with me without knowing it. Bullshit.
Anyway, I met Dee yesterday. Shes lovelier then ever, especially after a long week-end at the beach, getting stung by jelly-fish non-withstanding. I was walking up the escalator thinking about both Martine and her, and I wondered why I wasnt able to feel the same way. I adore her, certainly, but there was never anything sad about it all.
Im in an incredibly lousy mood.
I spent the night with some guy I didnt know who was old enough to be my father. We didnt do anything, unless you count a Lost in Translation, where we lay down on the bed and talked about how people could never ever be satisfied.
Please stay. Hed asked me, when I was putting on my shoes just slightly after one in the morning.
Ive got so much to do And I want my own bed
I really like you. Just stay.
-pause-
Ill pay you.
No! Jesus. I dont do that kinda nonsense with people I barely know.
Im sorry. What do you think of me.
Youre a dirty old pervert.
I laughed. He wasnt really, and I told him so. I like him enough as an individual, but that was it.
He tired to slip his hands down my panties in the middle of the night. I said No three times before rolling over onto my front and moving a foot away from him.
I have no idea why I actually stayed. I wasnt even vaguely drunk, and I wasnt even vaguely attracted to him. He was just nice.
In the morning, he tried to eat me out.
No.
I was beginning to like saying it actually. Ive nearly never said no to men, and I told him so.
Whys that?
Im in love.
xoxox
Youre in love with being in love.
So? I snapped back. Even then, I cannot be in love with nothing. Im in love with being in love with you, cant you see. You know these things, deep inside you know. The girl you wanted to marry a year back, you knew she felt too mediocre compared to you, thats why she couldnt.
I could die, god-damnit.
The joke gets even better. Im embarrassingly obsessive and close-minded when Im in love, and I actually like it. I wouldnt like it at all (and thats putting it very mildly) if he said no more. I started working on a comic for his birthday, and everything breathes the sort of psycho mind-fuck he plays with me without knowing it. Bullshit.
Anyway, I met Dee yesterday. Shes lovelier then ever, especially after a long week-end at the beach, getting stung by jelly-fish non-withstanding. I was walking up the escalator thinking about both Martine and her, and I wondered why I wasnt able to feel the same way. I adore her, certainly, but there was never anything sad about it all.
Im in an incredibly lousy mood.
I spent the night with some guy I didnt know who was old enough to be my father. We didnt do anything, unless you count a Lost in Translation, where we lay down on the bed and talked about how people could never ever be satisfied.
Please stay. Hed asked me, when I was putting on my shoes just slightly after one in the morning.
Ive got so much to do And I want my own bed
I really like you. Just stay.
-pause-
Ill pay you.
No! Jesus. I dont do that kinda nonsense with people I barely know.
Im sorry. What do you think of me.
Youre a dirty old pervert.
I laughed. He wasnt really, and I told him so. I like him enough as an individual, but that was it.
He tired to slip his hands down my panties in the middle of the night. I said No three times before rolling over onto my front and moving a foot away from him.
I have no idea why I actually stayed. I wasnt even vaguely drunk, and I wasnt even vaguely attracted to him. He was just nice.
In the morning, he tried to eat me out.
No.
I was beginning to like saying it actually. Ive nearly never said no to men, and I told him so.
Whys that?
Im in love.
xoxox
VIEW 7 of 7 COMMENTS
killermike:
if love is rude to you, be rude to love! 
conclusion:
This is simple. i stopped reading after the first paragraph so I hope I'm not ahead of my self. Girls like guys who treat them like crap. Most will say the opposite but I see different. Think of a friend who gets treated like crap. nine times out of ten I bet thats the person who you would say is most faithful in that relationship,.