They are very much fun to have. All the better if they are single, fit, easy-going, with modesty that is of inverse proportion to the money they make, and funny. Screw youth and beauty, I appreciate kindness, intellect and the capability for vast generosity more then anything in the world.
Had lunch with Dr. Seuss today, and was finishing up with coffee when Martine called. I felt terribly awkward and probably sounded rather apprehended over the phone. I didnt call him, but hed gotten an odd sms and a missed call that said, Im all alone and lonely at the moment.
How can that possibly be from me? I dont send weird shit messages like that. Mine was the silly one about how love spelt backwards formed the first four letters of evolution.
I must say all that turned out to be one undesirable mess. Martine probably knew I was with another guy, its one thing perhaps to know that I was seeing other people, and another to be talking to me while I was with them. Ive no idea, honestly. I dont have a single drop of jealousy or feel any sense of apprehension when they talk about their other loves, or when they are talking to their other loves.
I was embarrassed, and decided to be really blunt with Seuss. Look, I feel genuine about you, and Im not bullshitting when I say I do like you, but I do see other people, you know it, and I hope you dont hold it against me. Or make it seem as if I were pretending just to appease you.
He shrugged and said of course it was not a problem and that I honestly should not bother to pretend around him. After all, Im married. And unless you wish to agree to be my mistress exclusively, which I doubt you are ready for, and neither am I, youre free to do whatever you want, and I will accept that.
So thats that, and hes sent me a couple of rather flattering emails in the meanwhile. After I left him, I went on to meet someone who had picked me up at an airport quite a rather long time ago, and whom I had decided to tease over email just for the heck of it, because I didnt believe anything could possibly come from it. He had offered to fly me Bangkok almost immediately after Id met him just because he would like some company and thought I was a lot of fun to be with. Id been bored then, and thought why the hell not. And while Im at it, and since he seems kinda loaded, why not throw a wild card and tell him Id exchange sexual favour for material pleasures. I came up with a story where I played escort occasionally, had fixed rates the whole Belle DeJour thing. Id asked for a health report though, and surprises of surprises, hed actually went for one and presented me with a completely clean bill of health today. Of course he expected one from me as well, which I am to obtain tomorrow, because being the procrastinator that I am, I postponed it till the last possible moment to get the check done. In other words, I went for yet another STD check yesterday. The G-Spot thinks Im completely mad (How many times in a year must you get yourself checked for Christ sakes To be completely honest, I do it about 3 times a year. Im just paranoid beyond belief).
He told me hes never done anything like it before, and said that he was still considering my companionship. I shrugged and said it didnt really matter to me. I dont care for the money, and if hed just like to hang out with me, that was fine too. Especially since he was suggesting hanging out in Paris, which does sound particularly attractive. He told me hed come down to Singapore especially to see me, which made me feel mildly embarrassed, and a little stressed out.
My goodness, then I do hope youve not been disappointed!
Hell no. Im very pleased, actually.
Hed even wrapped me a box of Godiva pecan bouchee-s and given me a book hed written, swearing that everything I needed to know about making money was in there, except from what he would tell me personally.
I actually had gotten two boxes of chocolate for you, but Id been about to wrap the marzipan ones when Id decided Id help myself to a piece on the plane. And well, you know how these things are. You have one, then you have another one, and before you know it, its all gone.
He then asked me quite bluntly where Id like things to go. I raised an eyebrow and smiled. Frankly? I dont bullshit anyway. I like new experiences, I love traveling, and I like cash. I know it sounds cheap, but its no problem for me to trade something you want for all that. But its honestly up to you, I wont bother push it, and we can still be friends and you can drop by Asia anytime and give me a ring if you want a weekend break completely devoid of any sexual favour or what not.
Im trying to figure out if our relationship should be completely cash based The last time I did something like that, where I actually paid for sex must have been two decades ago. And that was the one and only time, its no me to do so.
Certainly Im whoring myself, but thats sex is so often used as a means for women to barter with. You said it yourself, with your occasional mistress back in the states. Youve got something she wants, whatever that could possibly be, and so hence. Im honestly not a prostitute, Im not looking for hard cash, and it would sooth my conscience that you dont think in such terms. Put really bluntly Im really a student attempting to make some extra pocket money and trying to have fun while at it because Im too lazy, or perhaps too proud, to work in most jobs that I can qualify for. Besides, I dont wish to waste my time in occupations that do not enrich me.
He looks at me, nearly incredulous, and I laughed and told him that was exactly what hed asked for anyway. No bullshit, init?
Im not going to pretend and tell some retarded story like, oh, how I have three younger brothers who are starving in a crappy HDB flat with abusive alcoholic parents and an illegitimate child, whom Ive to raise by feeding, god-knows-what, pigs? (We had been talking about Paris Hilton wrestling in the mud with ferocious, fat, beasts earlier on).
He laughed really hard and slapped my back with a little too much force.
I like you, I think youve got an incredibly sharp mind, and yeah youre pretty, and sexy, but thats not it. I love the way you think more then anything else. You know, I almost died when I found out your age. That was when Id been trying to fly you over to Vegas sometime back, remember. The lady on the line had asked for your date of birth, and Id not noticed it before. I actually said it, and went what the fuck when it hit me which year youd been born in. You cannot have been half as shocked at my age as I was at finding out yours.
I shrugged, I thought you were 10 years younger, and you thought I was 6 years older. But yes, oddly, even so, I do not think I was even half as shocked as you were.
He said hed like to go to bed because the jet-lag was starting to kick in, and I walked the length with him to the MRT station where I told him Id be going.
Cool, Ill call you tomorrow. He said. You need like, cash for cab or something? Ah whatever, here, take some money. And with that, he shoved a couple of bills into my hand.
I knew American people thought about money all the time, and talked about it most times, but this was something else. This was certainly not annoying. No, avarice, I swear, is not becoming a besetting sin in me. I didnt ask for it, nor had I expected anything. Moneys nice to have, but its not worth fussing over, or doing things youd rather not just for the sake of having some of it in your hands. Money, I think, is a quantitative exchange, experience, and stuff you can learn, and well, a load of other things, friendship perhaps, is qualitative. I think thats more important, and without doubt, more beneficial.
Of course, money is always a nice incentive to cap it all up. But its not completely essential, and Ill not be anal about it.
xoxox
Had lunch with Dr. Seuss today, and was finishing up with coffee when Martine called. I felt terribly awkward and probably sounded rather apprehended over the phone. I didnt call him, but hed gotten an odd sms and a missed call that said, Im all alone and lonely at the moment.
How can that possibly be from me? I dont send weird shit messages like that. Mine was the silly one about how love spelt backwards formed the first four letters of evolution.
I must say all that turned out to be one undesirable mess. Martine probably knew I was with another guy, its one thing perhaps to know that I was seeing other people, and another to be talking to me while I was with them. Ive no idea, honestly. I dont have a single drop of jealousy or feel any sense of apprehension when they talk about their other loves, or when they are talking to their other loves.
I was embarrassed, and decided to be really blunt with Seuss. Look, I feel genuine about you, and Im not bullshitting when I say I do like you, but I do see other people, you know it, and I hope you dont hold it against me. Or make it seem as if I were pretending just to appease you.
He shrugged and said of course it was not a problem and that I honestly should not bother to pretend around him. After all, Im married. And unless you wish to agree to be my mistress exclusively, which I doubt you are ready for, and neither am I, youre free to do whatever you want, and I will accept that.
So thats that, and hes sent me a couple of rather flattering emails in the meanwhile. After I left him, I went on to meet someone who had picked me up at an airport quite a rather long time ago, and whom I had decided to tease over email just for the heck of it, because I didnt believe anything could possibly come from it. He had offered to fly me Bangkok almost immediately after Id met him just because he would like some company and thought I was a lot of fun to be with. Id been bored then, and thought why the hell not. And while Im at it, and since he seems kinda loaded, why not throw a wild card and tell him Id exchange sexual favour for material pleasures. I came up with a story where I played escort occasionally, had fixed rates the whole Belle DeJour thing. Id asked for a health report though, and surprises of surprises, hed actually went for one and presented me with a completely clean bill of health today. Of course he expected one from me as well, which I am to obtain tomorrow, because being the procrastinator that I am, I postponed it till the last possible moment to get the check done. In other words, I went for yet another STD check yesterday. The G-Spot thinks Im completely mad (How many times in a year must you get yourself checked for Christ sakes To be completely honest, I do it about 3 times a year. Im just paranoid beyond belief).
He told me hes never done anything like it before, and said that he was still considering my companionship. I shrugged and said it didnt really matter to me. I dont care for the money, and if hed just like to hang out with me, that was fine too. Especially since he was suggesting hanging out in Paris, which does sound particularly attractive. He told me hed come down to Singapore especially to see me, which made me feel mildly embarrassed, and a little stressed out.
My goodness, then I do hope youve not been disappointed!
Hell no. Im very pleased, actually.
Hed even wrapped me a box of Godiva pecan bouchee-s and given me a book hed written, swearing that everything I needed to know about making money was in there, except from what he would tell me personally.
I actually had gotten two boxes of chocolate for you, but Id been about to wrap the marzipan ones when Id decided Id help myself to a piece on the plane. And well, you know how these things are. You have one, then you have another one, and before you know it, its all gone.
He then asked me quite bluntly where Id like things to go. I raised an eyebrow and smiled. Frankly? I dont bullshit anyway. I like new experiences, I love traveling, and I like cash. I know it sounds cheap, but its no problem for me to trade something you want for all that. But its honestly up to you, I wont bother push it, and we can still be friends and you can drop by Asia anytime and give me a ring if you want a weekend break completely devoid of any sexual favour or what not.
Im trying to figure out if our relationship should be completely cash based The last time I did something like that, where I actually paid for sex must have been two decades ago. And that was the one and only time, its no me to do so.
Certainly Im whoring myself, but thats sex is so often used as a means for women to barter with. You said it yourself, with your occasional mistress back in the states. Youve got something she wants, whatever that could possibly be, and so hence. Im honestly not a prostitute, Im not looking for hard cash, and it would sooth my conscience that you dont think in such terms. Put really bluntly Im really a student attempting to make some extra pocket money and trying to have fun while at it because Im too lazy, or perhaps too proud, to work in most jobs that I can qualify for. Besides, I dont wish to waste my time in occupations that do not enrich me.
He looks at me, nearly incredulous, and I laughed and told him that was exactly what hed asked for anyway. No bullshit, init?
Im not going to pretend and tell some retarded story like, oh, how I have three younger brothers who are starving in a crappy HDB flat with abusive alcoholic parents and an illegitimate child, whom Ive to raise by feeding, god-knows-what, pigs? (We had been talking about Paris Hilton wrestling in the mud with ferocious, fat, beasts earlier on).
He laughed really hard and slapped my back with a little too much force.
I like you, I think youve got an incredibly sharp mind, and yeah youre pretty, and sexy, but thats not it. I love the way you think more then anything else. You know, I almost died when I found out your age. That was when Id been trying to fly you over to Vegas sometime back, remember. The lady on the line had asked for your date of birth, and Id not noticed it before. I actually said it, and went what the fuck when it hit me which year youd been born in. You cannot have been half as shocked at my age as I was at finding out yours.
I shrugged, I thought you were 10 years younger, and you thought I was 6 years older. But yes, oddly, even so, I do not think I was even half as shocked as you were.
He said hed like to go to bed because the jet-lag was starting to kick in, and I walked the length with him to the MRT station where I told him Id be going.
Cool, Ill call you tomorrow. He said. You need like, cash for cab or something? Ah whatever, here, take some money. And with that, he shoved a couple of bills into my hand.
I knew American people thought about money all the time, and talked about it most times, but this was something else. This was certainly not annoying. No, avarice, I swear, is not becoming a besetting sin in me. I didnt ask for it, nor had I expected anything. Moneys nice to have, but its not worth fussing over, or doing things youd rather not just for the sake of having some of it in your hands. Money, I think, is a quantitative exchange, experience, and stuff you can learn, and well, a load of other things, friendship perhaps, is qualitative. I think thats more important, and without doubt, more beneficial.
Of course, money is always a nice incentive to cap it all up. But its not completely essential, and Ill not be anal about it.
xoxox
VIEW 3 of 3 COMMENTS
Your body is your own, and if you want to use it as a useful tool to make your life easier, it's all up to you, and nobody should have anything to say against it. Many smart persons such as yourself tend to have a practical relation to themselves and the world around them, but many who take such a road become void of feelings. I think this, however, is not the case with you. You just don't attach extra loads of overreacted feeling to things you don't want it in.
Another positive side is your honesty. Since you don't bullshit anyone, nobody should have bad feelings, unless they assume too much and take things for granted, when, of course, it's their own fault. It may sound like selfish thinking, but it really isn't. It's honest and practical.
I give you credit for your character. You are not too easily ground down. I think you would survive almost any stressful situation and come out the winner. That's something to strive for.