santianna

Pretension

Richard and I bummed a ride from a friend* last night, and as we were heading to the booze shop (the aunties there no longer endearingly call him the vodkaman anymore ever since he stopped patronizing their store as often as I go running, for a bottle of Absolut), I asked him* what happened to this girl we knew once, Miss N, who had big tits on an impossibly slender frame and a mouth that looked like she'd like to eat all of you up, and he told me she called him once in a while to try and sell some new concept or other to get famous. Presumably, everyone wants to get famous.

I suppose he* is quite right, we live in a state where nothing affects us more than contemporary media does, and at heart, we would all like control over the people around us at some level or another. What a lot of people don't realize is that so many of us don't even have control over ourselves, and the people with real fame, who incite genuine admiration, are the people that do.

I told Richard I really liked how his biting attitude towards society's obsession with recognition had affected me and he told me that he actually quite liked it when people recognized me occasionally (mostly thanks to the blog and FHM, I wish I could write more for the paper. I really should). I suppose people recognize me for all the wrong reasons, but it's alright, as long as I don't let it affect what I want to do. Fame hides the stupidity of any individual, and I suppose that is why a lot of people desire it, and I cannot deny wanting it because people have no forgiveness for stupidity, being mostly stupid themselves. And there is nothing we hate more than seeing our human failings reflected in another human being.

I try my best not to be interested in fame. Of course I desire recognition, but I don't want to have to become a slave to it and for its sake. He's* become obsessed with it, and he* can't stop telling me about ways in which I can get famous. Anabel Chong's famous alright, but what good has that ever done anyone?

I don't want to be bothered with it, it's so tedious. No where is it more tedious than in Singapore. For god's sake all our stars on TV are manufactured, no wonder bloggers can actually get famous here, because no one made us.

My reclusive behaviour is getting worse and worse I think. I went to a party last night, and it was full of people from the Fame Factory, and it was boring, tedious and frankly, full of bullshit. I can't stand it. Why would anyone want to stand around drinking wine and eating expensive chocolates while gossiping about people you don't really know anyway, while looking at people looking down their noses...

I'll admit it, I felt like an idiot, and I hate it when I feel like an idiot because I'm 19, and I'm just no bloody good in dealing with the fakery. If I wanna say something, I'll say it, and just because I'm young doesn't mean I'm an idiot or that I'm no good for getting things done.

That's just how I feel like in most social situations involving tons of older people anyway that does not involve tight leather outfits of the hanging possibility of a big orgy 'round the corner of the clock. I like those much better, my age doesn't matter.

I like the company of teenage girls like my sister that scowl at any form of authority and older men that know that nothing of the pretentious, plastic, LCD technology supported world actually matters.

I hate the pretension. I really hate it, I hate it I hate it I hate it. Why can't people just get over it.