sansseraph

i am still alive all i've just been busy with manic things and exhausted and ragged and happy enough of late my passions are slipping so i spend alot of time roaming about in a quest for mental stimulants.

my sinuses have been really bad lately and for some reason smoking a pack a day isn't seeming to fix it though between the pain and the high ephedren jag from the sinus meds, nothing stands in my way that i can't brow beat cajole or simply circumvent the ranting in public thing has been a bit prevalant though.

case and example. it's a little old but should illuminate what i mean by public misbehavior from yours truly:::

going to the mall (usually puts me on a self rightoues consumer bashing run any way) to keep somone company while they return things after chistmas. long lines of well dresses mini van drivers, young wives swollen with middle management and insurane salesman spawn, and scratch off lotto addicts, threaten to eat away the remains of my day. i wind up in some abysmally long line at abercrombie waiting so my friend can return a truly ugly shirt. the person in front of me it talking on her cell phone to somebody about how great her manicure is and that she got a gift card to star bucks and is looking forwards to her decaf chocolate latte.
i snap gently in the wind of her barrage of "oh my God" s and "my dad bought me the best car for my birthday, it's a new bug!!"
i grin at my friend and start this low monotone rant about little rich girls and their dads and speak quietly enough that she can only just hear me, but am looking right at my friend and talking quiety so that it appears i'm talking to him. now mind you this wasn't a murderous, sexual or otherwise nasty rant i don't really do those. this was a full on frank assault on cell phones, cute cars wasted money manicures and how the mother ship would someday show up and take me home.
she eventually noticed me and left the line prematurely so did the person infront of her and so on until i ran into this nice little old lady and we spent the rest of our time in line chatting with her about baking and bee keeping

so it's not like a happy noodle boy rant (well ok somtimes it is) it's just stirring the pot a little what i don't get is why so many people are so inhibited and afraid to be noticed. i mean who cares what people think, especially people you'll never see again. still most people try so hard not to have any sort of personal contact with the multitudes of the world. worse still is those who style themselves uninhibited and are simply tactless morons. their is a huge diffenece in being mildly insulting to make people think a little and maybe question somethings and screaming FUCK in the middle of a family restraunt.

oh i don't know what i'm trying to say really. i just know that i'm babbling now so i'll stop
gabriel