I've never kept it a secret that I don't like my father. But what I have kept secret is was his treatment towards me and my sisters and mother. What brings this up was a Facebook message from a high school classmates mother. She messaged me that "a good Catholic ( I went to a private parochial school since the 3rd grade) would forgive what their father had done in the past. This is the past.
My father was an abusive sociopathic liar. Every day I look in the mirror I am reminded of the day I didn't cut the grass correctly by the scar on my cheek that he left after he back handed me. I remember how he would put a cigarette out on my arm and then go to church as if nothing ever happened.
I remember walking in on him with women that weren't my mother and the black eyes to remind me to forget what I saw. These are just a few of the things .
15 years ago he left. He stole all the money from my sisters savings and my savings. He had a woman sign my mother's name and drained her 401k. He left two days before our house for closed on us leaving us homeless. I remember all of this as if it were yesterday.
But I am the bad Catholic for not wanting to forgive him because he goes to church and prays for forgiveness.
My mother never knew of the physical abuse. Or chose not to. Either way during their divorce she gave him the option for joint custody . He refused. My sisters and I were truly unwanted children. No I didn't want him to have custody but knowing that your own father didn't want you hurt more than any ofthe hits I took.
Like I said I went to a private Catholic high school. I had received a grant to go and had to also work to pay tuition. Iwas seen as an outcast from other students because my parents were divorced. Yes other Kids parents were divorced but their parents still got along. My dad disappeared until two years ago he came back to Ohio.
The daughter of the woman who sent me the message to forgive my father was one of the worst people at school. Talking out loud when I was walking by saying things like "he's an embarrassment to this school, he's poor, he's a bastard in the eyes ofthe church" . Which was one of the more pleasant things she's said.
Yet I'm the bad person . I willnot forgive my father not even when he is dead. This is the first time I've actually admitted to the abuse. If you read this thank you.