So I’ve not had the easiest start to the year with my long term relationship ending, having to move back home at 27 in a tiny room with a single bed, and things did start to look up with my modelling taking off and getting lots of shoots booked however it cost me a lot of money and being a self employed hairdresser that isn’t easy. I’ve been going through hell for almost 2 years now with a girl at work who doesn’t like me for some unknown reason, and it recently got too much for me due to being ridiculed on social media 🙃 and when that all exploded just as I thought the modelling was going well I received a nasty uncalled for message from another model even though I’ve never met the girl and done absolutely nothing out of line yet it’s all been brushed under the rug as I never got a response when trying to rectify it. It’s made me leave work group chats and I want to leave the sg group chats but too scared to and it’s not nice to feel like this. So alone when you’ve done nothing wrong.
I hoped getting published in Elite would open opportunities but nope, I contact photographers and get no responses and I can’t keep forking out the little money I do have for shoots and travel to shoots when I want to move out.
I hate the fact I live in such a small town/island where people seem to think they know everything about you when they know absolutely nothing at all. Due to everything going on it’s making me start to hate going to work, I love my job but I hate the thought of seeing this person.
I have such a blast when modelling it’s something I want to get into full time as much as my anxiety gets to me whilst travelling, I’m learning to cope with it so much better now but I just have no idea how to go about getting into it full time. I thought I could make extra money doing MFC but I need a new laptop as the speakers won’t work and it’s hard to do it whilst living at home.
I basically just feel totally stuck and like I’m failing at everything I do in life and it’s getting me down and making my eczema flare up which is making me panic it’ll show up in my shoots 😩 I just feel like I need to get off the island and move away but the thought of it scares me as I’ve always been close to home.
Why can’t life be simple, modelling takes off, meet a guy, travel and explore the world living together then have babies and grow old all whilst having amazing sex 😅
I feel stuck and I hate feeling like this. It’s making me miserable. I haven’t been this low in such a long time. I just feel like it’s pointless me being here. I end up having the odd good day and then end up feeling like I’m on a massive come down and feel crap for the next few days. I just need a fresh start but I don’t know what to do....
I’m lost
