As some of you may or may not know I have a chronic illness called Ulcerative Colitis which is all to do with your bowel. It’s a lifelong condition for which there is no cure and due to side effects and causing other problems due to it causing people to have a very weak immune system it can in the worse cases cause death. It means I went from being a very healthy naturally tiny girl, to medication making me put on over 3 stone which didn’t help me mentally. When I shot my debut set for SG I’d just come out of hospital and was at my heaviest. I didn’t feel very body confident but the opportunity arose for me to shoot my first set and after waiting 7 years, due to ill health I didn’t want to miss it. I’m sad that I feel it comes across in my face that I didn’t feel very body confident (also didn’t help I had a very stressful trip getting there, I got put on the wrong train so I was 3 hours late and it was March in the cold haha!) but none the less I was happy with his work and effort and wanting to get my first set up!
A few months later I finally got taken off steroid tablets for my health (yay!) as they slow your metabolism so it meant the weight started to drop off and I’m slowly getting back to my healthy self. Then I got the AMAZING chance to shoot with Crissro in London. I’d just got back from a 2 week holiday in turkey, I’d officially lost a stone and a half and was in a happier place ☺️ She was so lovely and made me feel so at ease and the slight language barrier just made us giggle! Shooting with her I forgot about all my insecurities and just enjoyed myself so much, that as soon as I saw the images I was over the moon. I look at this set and I’m just so comfortable with how I look even though at the time I was still chubby for what I’m use to, that I don’t care about the love handles or the rolls from my tummy or stretch marks on my thighs and bum as I just felt so comfortable. That shoot made me love my body again and I haven’t felt proud of my body or comfortable in my skin for a long time. I can’t wait for you guys to see this set and hopefully I will continue to grow with each set I do. Since then I’ve had a couple of very rough months and suffering with awful anxiety and depression it’s just taken it’s toll on my mental state. Now I need to heal my mind and learn to love not just my body but myself for who I am as a person too.
Peace & Love xo
