As I've really done nothing of note since I got back from my sisters - just tv, music, work and my comp, todays update is a movie review from last nights fine film:
Under Siege 2: Dark Territory
After blowing all the budget on an overblown opening, set in, woah! Space! The makers were already over par. This was probably due to be some bid star vehicle - Willis, Stallone, Schz...Arnie....but after that spacey intro, the makers decided that they couldn't afford the $20m fee for one of the big guns.
So, they called up the C-List Action Hero agency and got Steven Seagal - possibly in his last role without the medicinal corset. Add to that, they ruined production of the Penelope Pitstop live action adaptation by stealing the guy that was set to play The Hooded Claw and gave him an even camper role, and selected the rent-a-henchman during a game of darts.
It then moves onto Seagal saying hi to his chef chums - just as a plot device for later, you see, before he heads on down to the train station to meet the daughter of his dead brother....etc etc.
What follows next is a mess. It seems that the original script must have been deleted and that it must have been cobbled together using the action movie clich tombola.
Terrorists take over a train that just happens to contain the following:
1. Disposable scientists that hold the codes to some global destructo weapon.
2. An ex-Navy Seal, now a chef, from the school of MacGuyver.
3. Obligatory girl without brains.
4. Gung-ho cannon fodder.
5. Rent-a-sidekick
And the terrorists just happen to have:
1. A leader presumed dead who happened to design the weapon.
2. Navy Seals gone bad
3. Obligatory bad girl
4. Badly trained henchmen.
And so it goes....Seagal picks of the bad guys one by one like The Predator, cheats death twice, manages to use the chef plot device from earlier to send a message, actually leaves the train and catched up in a less than dramtic chase, manages to stop the bad guys scheme temporarily, before he eventually saves the day.
Its pony. It really is. The final schemes are surely taken from the 1994 Hornby Convention when disaster struck and someone dropped a match on a papier mch hill. Even for 1995, the effects are poor. And Steven Seagal doesn't run, he kind of strides slowly. Which makes his survival at the end even less convincing.
Oh well, this train wreck of a movie spared us Under Siege 3: Cruise Control.
Um....
2/10
Fin.
As I also recorded Battlefield Earth for, um, "reseacrh" purposes, another review may follow.
Under Siege 2: Dark Territory
After blowing all the budget on an overblown opening, set in, woah! Space! The makers were already over par. This was probably due to be some bid star vehicle - Willis, Stallone, Schz...Arnie....but after that spacey intro, the makers decided that they couldn't afford the $20m fee for one of the big guns.
So, they called up the C-List Action Hero agency and got Steven Seagal - possibly in his last role without the medicinal corset. Add to that, they ruined production of the Penelope Pitstop live action adaptation by stealing the guy that was set to play The Hooded Claw and gave him an even camper role, and selected the rent-a-henchman during a game of darts.
It then moves onto Seagal saying hi to his chef chums - just as a plot device for later, you see, before he heads on down to the train station to meet the daughter of his dead brother....etc etc.
What follows next is a mess. It seems that the original script must have been deleted and that it must have been cobbled together using the action movie clich tombola.
Terrorists take over a train that just happens to contain the following:
1. Disposable scientists that hold the codes to some global destructo weapon.
2. An ex-Navy Seal, now a chef, from the school of MacGuyver.
3. Obligatory girl without brains.
4. Gung-ho cannon fodder.
5. Rent-a-sidekick
And the terrorists just happen to have:
1. A leader presumed dead who happened to design the weapon.
2. Navy Seals gone bad
3. Obligatory bad girl
4. Badly trained henchmen.
And so it goes....Seagal picks of the bad guys one by one like The Predator, cheats death twice, manages to use the chef plot device from earlier to send a message, actually leaves the train and catched up in a less than dramtic chase, manages to stop the bad guys scheme temporarily, before he eventually saves the day.
Its pony. It really is. The final schemes are surely taken from the 1994 Hornby Convention when disaster struck and someone dropped a match on a papier mch hill. Even for 1995, the effects are poor. And Steven Seagal doesn't run, he kind of strides slowly. Which makes his survival at the end even less convincing.
Oh well, this train wreck of a movie spared us Under Siege 3: Cruise Control.
Um....
2/10
Fin.
As I also recorded Battlefield Earth for, um, "reseacrh" purposes, another review may follow.
I watched the first when it came on tv a few weeks ago (the one when he's locked in the freezer, etc.) and having never bothered with Steven Seagal, I was surprised this guy (or Chuck Norris, etc.) is even able to get a gig in an action movie.
Kisses