samitha

i hate life.
and i hate having a heater that i have no control over. it is fucking freezing and now i have to take a bath in order to warm up so i can go to sleep. and i have to get up early and finish my sculpture project. mornings are hell. literally, i think the devil created them. and then after that i have to pull myself out of my current state of anxious procrastination and spend the ENTIRE weekend on my midterm project. and my writing project. and my prinmaking project. i wish that stress had the effect of pushing me into doing great things, but it just makes me freeze up. i feel boxed in and trapped in reality when really i belong in a dream. someone dug the ground out from underneath me and buried my feet and knees when i wasn't paying attention. i am unwillingly rooted. i am thrashing rebelliously and just sinking deeper. i am my own valley.