samitha

i am back.
i did not kill or even maim a single family member.
i am hella proud of myself.

i am anxious about school. i have defensive measures like some kind of reptile. when threatened, i coil myself up tightly and eschew motion. it takes me a while to get moving again. to force blood and emotions to flow normally. the problem is, i am awkward and prone to self-doubt during the uncoiling process. i feel like i'm going to fail at school before i even begin. i very much want to be a student again and learn and succeed, so i need to find a way to circumvent my own pitfalls. at least this once. this is a last chance of sorts, and while in the future i can perhaps avoid the cause of my defensiveness- my mother- i don't have that choice in this instance because she will be with me from now until the day i arrive at school.
life's a bitch. i wish i were in canada with my lovely friends.

buuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuut, i am SO excited to meet new people. it's not my strong suit by any means, but about 1 in 40ish people i meet think i'm fucking hilarious and hopefully this whole 'meeting ppl online' thing will work out. i expect you all to become my bestest friends.

along that vein, in order to avoid meeting ppl who will find me unfriendworthy, here are my top six descriptors (besides neurotic) as dictated by CP, a very wise soul.

hilarious
insightful
courageous (like picking a school in a scary country in a big city where i know no one.. sounds kinda dumb to me)
competent
compassionate
cooperative (meaning community minded; functioning best within a supportive group)

if i sound like your cup o tea, you're probably mine as well.

tootles, darlings