samisdead

So awhile ago i was snowed in my dorm room for three days with nothing to do.A bunch of my friends started doing this thing on facebook where they would write down 25 random facts about themselves.An example would be like "I really enjoy strawberry flavored things."That wasn't mine, it was just an example but you get the jest of it.I eventually found myself doing this myself and i thought i would just share them because i thought they were funny.Anyway, here they are.

1.I really wish John Candy was still alive.

2.I eat meat, but i don't do it to spite vegatarians...i do it to spite God. (Just as a side note,i'm a vegetarian.I just thought this was funny.)

3.I think if i ever directed porn i would make the actresses in the movie to make fart noises every time they took off an article of clothing.

4.When my friends tell me "I'm going to party." i translate that to "I'm going to go shave." because none of my friends really have facial hair.

5.I used to be an angel but i cut my wings off because i just wanted to be a normal kid...like Macaulay Culkin.

6.One of my teachers has a really deep voice, like a voice from those old film strips from the 50's or 60's. So i'm going to try to get him to say "Hollaaar Back!!!" after each sentence.

7.Bobby Fever

8.Internet abreviations used in ever day conversations piss me off...one guy told me that he "L.O.L.ed" so i kick his "B.U.T.T."

9.I don't think hellen Keller jokes are funny...at all.This one guy told me a Hellen Keller joke so i kicked his "B.U.T.T."

10.Mike and myself were approached by a homeless man the other day in newport but we didn't have any change for him...then i kicked his "B.U.T.T."

11.Being stuck in your dorm for three fucking days sucks...it alright living with Mike though...then i kicked his "B.U.T.T."

12.I'm writing a musical that is based on reality...how? Because it is reality.

13.I was thinking about maybe becoming a politician but then i decided to take a pencil...and shove it in my eye because i thought that would have been a much better idea.

14. I wrote thirty eight thousand songs about the British Parliment last year alone...i really do have a lot to say about the subject.

15.What did you do the last fifteenth of may?...because thats what i did.

16.If sam ever has any kids i would not show them this list

17.I think if i ever had a crack house i would refer to it as "McNamara/Troy"

18.Dave Matthews Band sucks...i don't really have a follow up to that,i just really hate the Dave Matthews Band...sorry bro

19."You are getting old and progressively more unattractive, distant and morose daughter of mine. You need to get married before you become an ugly old hag."

20.Nip/Tuck taught me that if i ever became a tranny that i would get to occasionally get to beat up confused 18 year old that beat me up with my other tranny friends and then pee on him.

21.if you are a "self employed chemist" then you're probably doing something illegal...(this means you DAD!!!)...

22.!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1... don't you hate when that happens.

23.i always thought it would be weird if you walked into the end of a conversation and the only thing you heard was "...and thats why they call it a RIM JOB!!!!!!!!!!"

24.I never really minded the sight of blood...but i always have minded the sight of Glitter starring Mariah Carey...it just didn't do anything for me...i don't know mabey its just me.

25.So apparently writing sisterhood on a pair of pants and then just keeping them for yourself doesn't count...they apparently have to travel in order for it to count...fucking scripture.

So that was it,i hope that was entertaining enough for you to be reading this far.