sambaloco

ramble ramble...So I'm feeling a bit weird tonight....emotional...nostalgic.. I just watched Garden State with my good friend Julianne Shepherd (she is a brilliant music journalist and writer and you all should check her shit if you have the time)....anyway, it was her first time seeing it and it was great to see it with someone who had never seen it... as she said its like a peek into our generation with the soundtrack with the Shins, and the Iron and Wine coverin the postal service, etc... Needless to say she loved it...as i knew she would... and for me it was all the much more enjoyable to watch with someone who hasn't seen it..it was like a whole new movie...but it left me longing to be in that state of bliss that leaves us all glassy eyed without a care in the world... love.....

why is this point in my life so weird. Here I am in NYC busting ass to try and make something of myself... Just like everyone else in this city I am trying to stay focused on my career and success and just like everyone else i'm mostly unsatified with my personal relationships.... friends girlfriends lovers whatever... the best intimate relationship I've had is with the first girl I met when I moved here and its mostly been successful because she doesn't care about any of the superficial bullshit that comprises most of my daily life in the fashion/music industries....which, sadly, is the same reason why it doesn't work... because she can't handle the bullshit that I have to deal with on the daily... but we've had an on-again off-again relationship for two years now. She's met my family, I've met hers, she knows my friends but I more or less don't know a ton of her friends.... I've met a few of them and for some reason I've only taken to a few and the other just bother me because they more or less represent this annoying stoner lifestyle that I can't deal with anymore.... maybe because that was me long long ago.... a part that I want to forget...or maybe its a reflection of the type of people I'm trying to avoid at this juncture in my life... I'm looking for motivated people who have direction...
Still she asks me why it won't work between us... and I just shake my head and say we are different... how can I say "it annoys me that you aren't intellectual enough" but she grew up on a cattle ranch in Wyoming for christsake... I grew up with an architect father and art gallerist mother who are more less WASPy intellectuals..... I read books....boring academic ones... she watches TV. We never have intellectual conversations..... Is it wrong to want that? is it wrong to crave intellectual stimulation in a relationship?...... can opposites truly attract and work?.... what then do we make of our insane chemisty... the overpowering magnetic attraction?...... Could she be the ying to my yang? ..... would she ever feel comfortable with my intellectual, art obsessed family? would i feel comfortable with hers? the first time I met her mother she didn't ask me a single question about my family or who I am....was that weird? or was it trust?
do i really need someone who has all of this intellectual background? could she learn? does she want to learn? do i want to teach her... or do i just want someone who already has this.....
maybe we are just a bad addiction for one another? should i just forget it all and move on..... or as Julianne says should I throw it out bold and blind and say "I could never be with someone who isn't totally as crazy about music as I am...".... or at least an art form....ramble ramble

excuse me I needed to get that off my chest.

I'll leave you with a bit of my all time favorite talking heads song.... my roommates and I have been listening to ad nauseam

This Must be the Place (Naive Melody)
-------------------------------------------------

Home is where I want to be
Pick me up and turn me round
I feel numb - burn with a weak heart
(So I) guess I must be having fun
The less we say about it the better
Make it up as we go along
Feet on the ground
Head in the sky
It's ok I know nothing's wrong . . nothing

Hi yo I got plenty of time
Hi yo you got light in your eyes
And you're standing here beside me
I love the passing of time
Never for money
Always for love
Cover up + say goodnight . . . say goodnight

Home - is where I want to be
But I guess I'm already there
I come home - -she lifted up her wings
Guess that this must be the place
I can't tell one from another
Did I find you, or you find me?
There was a time Before we were born
If someone asks, this where I'll be . . . where I'll be

Hi yo We drift in and out
Hi yo sing into my mouth
Out of all those kinds of people
You got a face with a view
I'm just an animal looking for a home
Share the same space for a minute or two
And you love me till my heart stops
Love me till I'm dead
Eyes that light up, eyes look through you
Cover up the blank spots
Hit me on the head Ah ooh