So, I got into an interesting conversation with a friend at work. Deceptively simple on the surface: What constitutes cheating?
But it's interesting really. Particularly from our different perspectives (she's VERY single, and I'm very married).
We all have things that are definitely okay (non-erotic conversations) and things that definitely aren't (fucking in a shared bed - with someone else). But what about all that stuff in between? What if you're chatting with a friend, and while the conversation isn't necessarily erotic, you're excited by it? What about that girl you lusted after at work for howevermany years who finally flirts with you? What about if/when you flirt back? Does your definition of cheating vary depending on your relationship status (hanging out/dating/steady/engaged/married)?
Of course, open relationships don't apply to this particular conversation. They have their own rules.
But what's cheating TO YOU? Yes, I have my own definition, but I'll save that for another journal 'cause I really want to hear what you think about the grey areas... Cybering? Masturbation to thoughts of another? When does flirting cross the line?
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In completely unrelated news, we are moving Saturday. We close Thursday afternoon and are moving Saturday. I have the truck only until 12:30 Saturday, so we are starting early. 7:30. Please help, if you can. Call me at 720.837.4883 and I'll give you directions.
But it's interesting really. Particularly from our different perspectives (she's VERY single, and I'm very married).
We all have things that are definitely okay (non-erotic conversations) and things that definitely aren't (fucking in a shared bed - with someone else). But what about all that stuff in between? What if you're chatting with a friend, and while the conversation isn't necessarily erotic, you're excited by it? What about that girl you lusted after at work for howevermany years who finally flirts with you? What about if/when you flirt back? Does your definition of cheating vary depending on your relationship status (hanging out/dating/steady/engaged/married)?
Of course, open relationships don't apply to this particular conversation. They have their own rules.
But what's cheating TO YOU? Yes, I have my own definition, but I'll save that for another journal 'cause I really want to hear what you think about the grey areas... Cybering? Masturbation to thoughts of another? When does flirting cross the line?
=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=
In completely unrelated news, we are moving Saturday. We close Thursday afternoon and are moving Saturday. I have the truck only until 12:30 Saturday, so we are starting early. 7:30. Please help, if you can. Call me at 720.837.4883 and I'll give you directions.
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On the other hand, as someone who was married to one guy while being in love with another guy, I also know that seriously wanting to be with someone else is a HUGE sign that something is wrong with the relationship. I guess, to sum up, if either I or Jason ever felt like there was danger of one of us cheating, we would need to figure some things out. But since I trust both of us to admit to the potential of trouble before the actuality of trouble hits, I'm less likely to worry about him flirting with or being friends with other girls. I'm not sure that answers the question you asked, but it's an answer nonetheless.
So, for my first comment back...the cheating thing...
I think that a safe definition of what is cheating is anything that you know would hurt your significant other if he/she found out about it. If I go have lunch with a male co-worker, it's not cheating if I can come home and say "Oh, so today, I went to lunch with so-and-so" and know that it's not going to hurt JP in any way. If it's something you can come home and tell your partner about at the end of the day and know that he/she won't get upset or hurt... then it's ok. It's when you get into the secretive stuff and keeping things from one another that things go bad.