the return of the dreaded two pronged journal entry, because I am so utterly self-absorbed I can't seem to help it. So there.
WONDERFUL spring break with the baby. Who hardly seems like a baby anymore. She's pretty much crawling, has 2(!) teeth, smiles, grins, flirts, and snuggles like a demon! She is my child, after all. Having this time with her has been utterly wonderful. And, I've managed to get a lot done. Clothes sorted - hers and mine - and off to goodwill and the swap meet. Hair cut (loving it!!!) will try to get a good pic up, but it's layered and just brushes my shoulders now. I feel so YOUNG, lol. Good week.
Only drawback has nothing to do with the current week, but a sort of ongoing malaise. I miss feeling sexy. Not having sex, though, who am I kidding, I miss that too, but more than that specifically I miss feeling like I'm worth having sex with. In more than a "passing time" kind of a way. iron is so good about telling me how sexy he thinks i am and all that, but the poor man is fighting one hell of an uphill battle. I've lost most of the pregnancy weight, which wasn't too tricky, honestly. But, thanks to the lovely fibroids, I still look 6 months pregnant or so. And that makes it not so terribly fucking motivating to work out or eat right or any of those things. Who's gonna see if my ass is nice and tight if I still have this damn belly? And, to add insult to injury and continue my rant - the Depo is still in my system so even if I managed to feel sexy for long enough to think about following through on it, odds are I'd be hit my some massive mood swing or bleeding episode making sex seem, again, unlikely at best. They put me on Depo in January, because (1) it's good birth control, important and (2) there was some hope it would help with the fibroids. Well, I've had a grand total of about a week since then (not in consecutive days, mind you) where I wasn't bleeding. Fucking Yeeha. It runs out in the next few weeks, which is wonderful, because hopefully i can start feeling more like me again. I just won't be safe, ha ha ha. I ask you, what's the point of birth control that makes you not wanna have sex? Is THAT why it's so damn effective?
Tx for listening.
As far as I know we're still on for the zoo tomorrow, just may be a bit late.
WONDERFUL spring break with the baby. Who hardly seems like a baby anymore. She's pretty much crawling, has 2(!) teeth, smiles, grins, flirts, and snuggles like a demon! She is my child, after all. Having this time with her has been utterly wonderful. And, I've managed to get a lot done. Clothes sorted - hers and mine - and off to goodwill and the swap meet. Hair cut (loving it!!!) will try to get a good pic up, but it's layered and just brushes my shoulders now. I feel so YOUNG, lol. Good week.
Only drawback has nothing to do with the current week, but a sort of ongoing malaise. I miss feeling sexy. Not having sex, though, who am I kidding, I miss that too, but more than that specifically I miss feeling like I'm worth having sex with. In more than a "passing time" kind of a way. iron is so good about telling me how sexy he thinks i am and all that, but the poor man is fighting one hell of an uphill battle. I've lost most of the pregnancy weight, which wasn't too tricky, honestly. But, thanks to the lovely fibroids, I still look 6 months pregnant or so. And that makes it not so terribly fucking motivating to work out or eat right or any of those things. Who's gonna see if my ass is nice and tight if I still have this damn belly? And, to add insult to injury and continue my rant - the Depo is still in my system so even if I managed to feel sexy for long enough to think about following through on it, odds are I'd be hit my some massive mood swing or bleeding episode making sex seem, again, unlikely at best. They put me on Depo in January, because (1) it's good birth control, important and (2) there was some hope it would help with the fibroids. Well, I've had a grand total of about a week since then (not in consecutive days, mind you) where I wasn't bleeding. Fucking Yeeha. It runs out in the next few weeks, which is wonderful, because hopefully i can start feeling more like me again. I just won't be safe, ha ha ha. I ask you, what's the point of birth control that makes you not wanna have sex? Is THAT why it's so damn effective?
Tx for listening.
As far as I know we're still on for the zoo tomorrow, just may be a bit late.
VIEW 8 of 8 COMMENTS
~Dan
It was great to see you and the family too! The zoo was a great idea. We should deffinately do that again (when I have better lenses).
Daniel