samanthakayne

for the record, if the conversation goes something like this:

you (with a pointed look, or godforbid a reach, to my midsection): so, when are you due?
me (politely, through clenched teeth): oh, i'm not, that's just leftover from my baby.
you: oh, how old?
me: 3 months
you (with what you probably think is a knowing look): are you sure there's not another one in there?
me (defeated): i'm sure.
((awkward pause as you eye me suspiciously))
me: i'm not pregnant, those are tumors.

I'm not the asshole.