New blog, and only because AdmitOurMistakes asked and because I like her. 
Yes, I know I have a birthday coming up. No, don't fucking remind me.
My life has been exceedingly uninteresting of late. Busy, but uninteresting. No one wants to hear about my insomnia so I won't tell you. Everyone wins!
The only interesting thing is that I'm getting better with my camera. I'm still very open to inquiries from people who are willing to both pose for me and listen to a lot of cussing at the camera. I am not a pro, I'm looking for practice, but hey, if pictures come out well we can decide what to do with them. I've had a set published on Zivity and I've improved leaps and bounds since then.
New toy: telephoto lens!
I know many of you have noticed my distinct drop-off in participation. To be perfectly honest, it's an issue of a couple overzealous people ruining an overall good thing. One fly ruins a whole pot of soup.
Considering that every site encourages you to overshare about yourself and then repost on a thousand other sites -- did you know that there are some real life places that have a Facebook "like" button where you can check in on your phone and "like" it? -- it may be hard to remember that not everyone wants to share details of their deepest (or, depending on the person, not-so-deep) thoughts, their bodily functions, their current location, their travel plans, their most nuanced peccadilloes ....
In case that isn't clear, some people like their privacy. Personally, I am not bothered by a world of random strangers seeing pictures of my vulva on the internet. It's just a picture of genitalia. However, if someone digs up information about me that I haven't shared and don't wish to share, it feels to me not just like an intrusion but like a break-in. In a culture of Twitter and Foursquare and ads that follow you from site to site, what is more valuable than information? And how fucking hard is it to think "Maybe if she wanted to share this information, she would, and if I go digging around for things she keeps private I'm a creepy stalker with boundary issues?"
Recently I've had people eavesdrop on my friends to find out my real name -- then use it, a way of bragging to other strangers that they know it. I've had people hunt down my real-life Facebook profile and then friend my family members. That's just what I know of, and I only heard of some of the shit that's been going on months later. Who knows what else has been said, what information has been passed around like a joint at 3 a.m.? Those of you who have been around a while may remember earlier, much more physical and violent violations of my privacy as well as my person.
It is unfortunate that things like this are what I'll remember. The friends I've made from this site will be friends whether I'm on this site or not. But the joy of it is gone, the interest in participating in real life and meeting new people has been killed, because I don't know who these people are, what they know or what they will try to do. When the first, violent episode happened in 2006, there was a community that supported and protected me. Not to say that that community isn't still there, but the Land of the Internet is a very different place in 2010 than it was in 2006. Somehow, these recent intrusions have destroyed my trust in people far more than that one event did.
So sorry, those of you who are genuine and respectful. Even just one or two people violating what little trust I have allowed means that I can't trust any part of the vast anonymous ether of the internet. I don't advertise the things I do anymore, I have no desire to go to events, I'm very reluctant to shoot more sets. And well, sorry about that.
Let's end on a positive note, shall we? I am taking suggestions on what restaurant has food good enough to make me forget I'm going out to celebrate a birthday. Mmmmm food. No Meaty McMeaterson's House of Meat, though, don't eat the stuff. So Kuma's, while one of the city's culinary gems, is out.
Yes, I know I have a birthday coming up. No, don't fucking remind me.
My life has been exceedingly uninteresting of late. Busy, but uninteresting. No one wants to hear about my insomnia so I won't tell you. Everyone wins!
The only interesting thing is that I'm getting better with my camera. I'm still very open to inquiries from people who are willing to both pose for me and listen to a lot of cussing at the camera. I am not a pro, I'm looking for practice, but hey, if pictures come out well we can decide what to do with them. I've had a set published on Zivity and I've improved leaps and bounds since then.
New toy: telephoto lens!
I know many of you have noticed my distinct drop-off in participation. To be perfectly honest, it's an issue of a couple overzealous people ruining an overall good thing. One fly ruins a whole pot of soup.
Considering that every site encourages you to overshare about yourself and then repost on a thousand other sites -- did you know that there are some real life places that have a Facebook "like" button where you can check in on your phone and "like" it? -- it may be hard to remember that not everyone wants to share details of their deepest (or, depending on the person, not-so-deep) thoughts, their bodily functions, their current location, their travel plans, their most nuanced peccadilloes ....
In case that isn't clear, some people like their privacy. Personally, I am not bothered by a world of random strangers seeing pictures of my vulva on the internet. It's just a picture of genitalia. However, if someone digs up information about me that I haven't shared and don't wish to share, it feels to me not just like an intrusion but like a break-in. In a culture of Twitter and Foursquare and ads that follow you from site to site, what is more valuable than information? And how fucking hard is it to think "Maybe if she wanted to share this information, she would, and if I go digging around for things she keeps private I'm a creepy stalker with boundary issues?"
Recently I've had people eavesdrop on my friends to find out my real name -- then use it, a way of bragging to other strangers that they know it. I've had people hunt down my real-life Facebook profile and then friend my family members. That's just what I know of, and I only heard of some of the shit that's been going on months later. Who knows what else has been said, what information has been passed around like a joint at 3 a.m.? Those of you who have been around a while may remember earlier, much more physical and violent violations of my privacy as well as my person.
It is unfortunate that things like this are what I'll remember. The friends I've made from this site will be friends whether I'm on this site or not. But the joy of it is gone, the interest in participating in real life and meeting new people has been killed, because I don't know who these people are, what they know or what they will try to do. When the first, violent episode happened in 2006, there was a community that supported and protected me. Not to say that that community isn't still there, but the Land of the Internet is a very different place in 2010 than it was in 2006. Somehow, these recent intrusions have destroyed my trust in people far more than that one event did.
So sorry, those of you who are genuine and respectful. Even just one or two people violating what little trust I have allowed means that I can't trust any part of the vast anonymous ether of the internet. I don't advertise the things I do anymore, I have no desire to go to events, I'm very reluctant to shoot more sets. And well, sorry about that.
Let's end on a positive note, shall we? I am taking suggestions on what restaurant has food good enough to make me forget I'm going out to celebrate a birthday. Mmmmm food. No Meaty McMeaterson's House of Meat, though, don't eat the stuff. So Kuma's, while one of the city's culinary gems, is out.
VIEW 22 of 22 COMMENTS
I'm sorry you've had to put up with that crap from certain people. They need to take interest in the people who enjoy sharing their private life online instead of intruding into yours. You deserve your privacy.