It's been one hell of a winter.
My life is still going stunningly well. As for the people in my life, well, that's a different story.
Lawsuits, injuries, illnesses, crappy jobs, job losses, prison time, and alcoholism pretty much sum up the issues that have afflicted the people I care about.
Being emotionally drained is a terrible thing, especially when you are so helpless and can't really do anything to help anyone's situation. As always, I am everyone's shoulder and ear. And although I have tried my very best to be there for everyone, I have been crushed by the realization that on many occasions, the people who I am there for have lied to me, betrayed me, used me, ignored me, and looked the other way when it was I who needed them for a change.
So what's the lesson in all of this?
People always tell me that they love my brutal honesty, loyalty, and logical manner. I guess I expected the same honesty and loyalty in return. I was wrong, and that is what crushed me. Although I don't care to be a cynic, I need to learn to expect less from everyone, even though I will probably always give more.
I will no longer carry everyone's weight on my shoulders. I will do what I can to help, and be satisfied with such. People need to handle their own problems. I can't do it for them.
I have the right to revel in my success without feeling guilty about someone else's predicament. I worked hard for everything I have, and I did most of it without anyone's help. I didn't have a shoulder or an ear, but that's probably what made me so strong.
I ran for the first time in over a month this week. I got home from work, changed, and just ran. It was wonderful. I pushed up hills and darted through neighborhoods. 6.5 miles later, I was relieved, decompressed, and quite possibly blissful.
I have decided to run the LA marathon in a month. It's not much time to get back in shape, but I have already managed to lose 5 pounds since my last post. Just 7 more to go to be back where I feel good about myself. 12 pounds may not seem like a lot, but it's almost 5% of my body weight, so it's pretty hard.
I'm going to need a lot of time this month to work on myself. Work, school, run, wash, sleep, repeat. It's going to be so worth it. I can't wait to see the results. I'm like my own science project!
I'm going to go groom now. Dmuff and I have a fun day ahead of us. We are going to see Bloody Bloody Andrew Jackson, buy new running shoes for me, visit one of my old hang outs, and eat fondue.
My life is still going stunningly well. As for the people in my life, well, that's a different story.
Lawsuits, injuries, illnesses, crappy jobs, job losses, prison time, and alcoholism pretty much sum up the issues that have afflicted the people I care about.
Being emotionally drained is a terrible thing, especially when you are so helpless and can't really do anything to help anyone's situation. As always, I am everyone's shoulder and ear. And although I have tried my very best to be there for everyone, I have been crushed by the realization that on many occasions, the people who I am there for have lied to me, betrayed me, used me, ignored me, and looked the other way when it was I who needed them for a change.
So what's the lesson in all of this?
People always tell me that they love my brutal honesty, loyalty, and logical manner. I guess I expected the same honesty and loyalty in return. I was wrong, and that is what crushed me. Although I don't care to be a cynic, I need to learn to expect less from everyone, even though I will probably always give more.
I will no longer carry everyone's weight on my shoulders. I will do what I can to help, and be satisfied with such. People need to handle their own problems. I can't do it for them.
I have the right to revel in my success without feeling guilty about someone else's predicament. I worked hard for everything I have, and I did most of it without anyone's help. I didn't have a shoulder or an ear, but that's probably what made me so strong.
I ran for the first time in over a month this week. I got home from work, changed, and just ran. It was wonderful. I pushed up hills and darted through neighborhoods. 6.5 miles later, I was relieved, decompressed, and quite possibly blissful.
I have decided to run the LA marathon in a month. It's not much time to get back in shape, but I have already managed to lose 5 pounds since my last post. Just 7 more to go to be back where I feel good about myself. 12 pounds may not seem like a lot, but it's almost 5% of my body weight, so it's pretty hard.
I'm going to need a lot of time this month to work on myself. Work, school, run, wash, sleep, repeat. It's going to be so worth it. I can't wait to see the results. I'm like my own science project!
I'm going to go groom now. Dmuff and I have a fun day ahead of us. We are going to see Bloody Bloody Andrew Jackson, buy new running shoes for me, visit one of my old hang outs, and eat fondue.
However greetings to Dmuff!!! And have a great weekend!