In this week's blog I will be covering several topics. Some of them might be controversial. Feel free to stir the pot if you disagree with what I'm saying, of course, the real pieces of work here will do that in their own way.
I was looking at a girl with so much metal in her face I wondered if she sticks to the fridge when she walks past it. Now that's not usually something I would think, considering I have facial piercings myself but then again when it comes to her I'm rather biased.
Several times now I have received messages asking what I look for in a boyfriend. Well, you know what, I can't honestly tell you that, but what I can tell you (and pay attention now) is what I look for in an ex boyfriend.
- First, and this is pretty important, it's imperative that the man (child) in question acts like he's nuts. When asked "what's making you like this" he must come up with a really flimsy excuse about his mental state, due to "what he's been through" and demand that I accept his behaviour regardless of my morals, opinions, or beliefs.
- Must have a tiny penis. And I'm talking like the size of a pinkie finger. It's important that along with that he has no idea how to use it, like he just bought it yesterday and hasn't yet read the instruction manual. So much so that he either overheats and can't cum because he spends so much time trying to override the "I'm Embarrassed" program that he expends too much energy, OR he cums within about 30 seconds of sex beginning. Of course the whole time I'll be telling my friends he's incredible in bed, but once the relationship is over it's possible to reveal that sex with him was like fucking a lifeless stick on a mattress, and that I did better with my vibrator.
- Must have the most stupid and annoying friends I've ever seen! Nothing like spending my evening... every evening... with a bunch of jumped up assholes who think they're god's gift to women, pool, each other... SO MUCH FUN!
- Must refuse to cuddle in bed, in public, in general...
- Must snore, talk, or sweat in his sleep.
- Must get so drunk he falls over, and be so heavy I can't pick him up so I just have to leave him there to whine like an overgrown child.
- Must act like I'm the crazy one, due to telling the truth, expressing my feelings, and articulating my thoughts.
- Must be intensely jealous, so much so that I'm not allowed to be when I inevitably catch him out on lies about other girls or cheating.
- Must listen to nothing but dubstep/one rock band he claims to love but obviously doesn't love the genre.
- Must constantly whine about how his father abandoned him.
- The most amazing thing is complete lack of communication. Absolute best thing ever!
Isn't Game of Thrones kicking butt so far this season? Although...
On the plus side it's getting warmer here in England so I made this:
I've liked Paramore for years, but upon the recommendation of spike2201 (who weirdly is fast becoming a really good friend), I did get the new album. My favourite song is fairly beautiful, loving the harmonies integrated in the chorus, plus random glockenspiel in there too! The album is Paramore - self titled album. Give it a listen it's not 'arf bad!
I got Tomb Raider, the new one. I've yet to play it, but I'm hearing really good things... and bad things if you're Yahtzee...
Finally started reading The Casual Vacancy by J K Rowling. All I have to say is so far so good! I'll let y'all know more once I've finished it!
I've joined the "I have a working iPhone" club. Finally got my iPhone so I've been using it OUTSIDE THE HOUSE! 
And bugging the crap out of spike2201, Swazzy, expo, Avert, Waterfordman, hodor, jmdelaney, and slenderman using various apps and throwing photos at them. It's probable that they have seen most of the photos on this blog, actually. Sorry guys!
I was watching Once Upon a Time, and paused so I could run downstairs and grab a beverage, and this happened. I had to take a picture because I had to sit back down and laugh for five minutes.
My puppy has been doing a lot of this, recently.
I thought she might need cheering up, so I bought her a new collar.
My best friend Lindsay, her boyfriend Damon (who I refer to as Demon), and I went to see Dark Skies. It was really meh so if I were you I wouldn't bother, but they came round to mine afterwards and we had wine and they enjoyed Ginger's company.
I wandered around a store and found this little dude. Thought about buying him but I have enough issues keeping goldfish alive let alone something that barely moves at all!
Just a random one of me, and my boob.
slenderman sent me this one from work. D'aww and all that. 
Last weekend, spike2201 came over to hang out. While he was there, Ginger decided she wanted to show off, so she did this to her dog toy (notice how she managed to avoid chewing on my hat)
Here he is with Ginger.
For a while, the bulb in my desk lamp kept repeatedly blowing. I had no idea why until I suddenly noticed this. Oops.
I managed to cut my hand with my own fingernails while I was asleep, so I made it into a funny face, but after that it's gotten quite red looking.
My friend Jess came over and we went for a walk in the woods... at 11pm. As you do. Ginger came with us. We heard strange shouting noises and things got quite Blair Witch-y, so we decided to call it a night.
Sundies! If you don't follow me on Instagram the link is at the bottom of this blog.
Taunting slenderman with British beer.
I took Ginger for a three mile walk today. She pulls a lot. We saw a cow. It was uneventful.
I had brie sandwiches for lunch. I know that is weird. It was odd, but strangely successful.
This evening I got all dressed up to do my video, which I will be uploading hopefully soon if I can get the camcorder to work with regards to streaming. If I can't then I will have to dress up some more and try again, but I did at least take pictures of myself.
And now for the good bits!
I'm taking commissions. I draw, I paint, if you wish to see what then you can click here to see it. I can also draw and design tattoos: see myself for examples.
This is still for sale:
I'm also putting some feelers out with regards to making and selling iPhone cases. If you're interested in getting an iPhone case either with me on it (signed, of course) or my artwork on it then drop me a line. I've had some interest on facebook (fan page linked at bottom of blog) but I want to make a solid investment.
On May 8th I have THIS coming out! Shot by Miro!
And then after that I have THIS coming out at some point! Shot by Chocolat!
Here are my favourites in MR this week!
Porphyria - Secret Garden
HellCat_ - Pull My Hair
_Mielle - Dandelion
And last but not least:
Luxette - Morning
Thanks for bearing with me and reading my weekly essay! I hope I'm entertaining some of you!
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And watch this space for my video!
