I got to deal with something I had no idea was even an issue this weekend. My Girlfriend has been feeling unsocial lately, a lot of her friends have moved away and she feels lack luster to go out and make new ones... because they will eventually move. Which I felt was a bit dramatic. I mean such is life if you are lucky you have 5 years at most with most of your friends. The best 10 and the ones that last longer than that and stay close. Pretty much soul mates. That's besides the point. I convinced her to go out with some friends of mine to the bars. Figured getting her out around people would help her feel a little more social. I'm an Extrovert and dating an Introvert gets hard sometimes. She tells me I can go out and hang with my friends and I do. She has full trust in me. Still I'd like to have her by my side. So we are at the bars and she see's her Ex. Not unusual. We live in a small college town. She felt uneasy so we went to a different bar. I figured that would be the end of that. Near the end of the night one of my friends snapped the Girl Kristi ( my GF) has been getting closer with. Friend wise... which resulted in her drunken ass spinning and back handing the closest person to her. I walk back from the bathroom to my GF crying at the bar and everyone around her trying to comfort her. Needless to say I was confused. So I took her home and found out the Ex we saw was abusive. Something I didn't know. That the hit from Sondra brought back his abuse in a big bad way. So she didn't want to be touched or even around anyone. She was still mad at me for at this point forcing her to be social. I never forced her but that's besides the point. So I didn't want anything sexual to happen. I know right a guy turning down sex. It happens. So the next day I assumed she was still reeling from the previous nights events. So I spent the day with her just loving on her but not super touchy feely. I wanted her to have her space to deal with the issues that were unearthed. I told her as such because I got nothing to hide. The next day while I was at work she had gone out to eat with a friend of hers and when girls talk relationships crumble. I am not so easily fell. She got all freaked out that I was punishing her for the abuse of her past by not having sex with her. This had been 3 days without sex mind you. I had to call her and explain that I wanted no psychological link between her and her Ex. That I wanted her to figure out what she was feeling so she could convey that to me. In the moment it felt like a good route to take. i have refused sex before based on the psychological well being of a girl at the time of possible courting dance. After a late night sexual encounter she was less worried that i have grown less attracted to her because of past abuse. I don't mind reminding that girl I love that she is beautiful and worth loving more each day. Still I do think she has a tendency to over analyze. Maybe, we can work on that. Just letting things go and roll with life. Still love her and now I have a guy that I really want to injure. :)