Brocode BroKen
When I got into my new relationship, I never fathomed that it would be an old relationship that would cause me most of the drama in the new one. Remember my previous posts about the girl that I wasn't really in a relationship with, but somehow still felt like a relationship. Well 5 months into my now much better relationship. One not filled with drama, wonder, and misconception. I find out my Roommate and best friend has been"talking" to the girl I used to like.
Thus enters the Bro-code and mock it all you like, the Bro-code has protected male relationships for years. Rule one of that code is never date your best friend"s X. Number 150 in, How I Met Your Mothers Bro-Bible by Barney. So he wondered since the two of us never really dated if it was cool if they started something. I said straight up, "That would be weird as all fuck!" Adding to that, as I talked with both of them about this matter. That this made my girlfriend uncomfortable even. It made me very uncomfortable and that it was just fucking weird. My roommate has never violated the Bro-code no matter how many of my X's he found attractive and it's been a few. So why the sudden change? What would cause him to forsake the 10 year friendship we had, compromise a living situation, and put a serious strain on my current relationship? Lust to begin with I imagine, she is attractive. Then, I imagine feelings which came later, but sooner than they should have were the real hook. Due to the amount of time she had spent at our house previously, he was comfortable with her. He was able to let his guard down. However, becoming recently un-engaged the amount of mental instability that was being brought into this new relationship spells out ruin. They are both stubborn and so far Im about 100% right when it comes to calling how his relationships will pan out. I've grown to accept this weird living situation, I keep to my room or my GF's house any more. In my current relationship we decided or more so forced ourselves into thinking that we had to accept it and not let their actions affect the relationship we have. So that's a thing.
Worst part of this whole debacle is I have in so many words lost a good friend to a girl that I was also friends with. In one swift move I lost two friends. The girl wasnt a horrible loss, she had already bolted for the guy after me and disappeared once. My roommate though... Oh, I'm still cordial with them, but hanging out just isn't the same. She is always there... another oddity as he dumped the previous girl for being too clingy. It's just fucking awkward. They both had asked me if I was ok with it and after saying I wasn't really and neither was my girlfriend: they did it anyway. Just like that and they feel it too. She said at one time that she wasnt going to give up her happiness to please my girlfriend or me. Go figure. A once very close friendship with my roommate has come to bare essential head nods, hellos, goodbyes, and the obligatory casual conversation. I guarantee we wont be able to have real conversations until shes gone. Oh, and shell be gone. Thats just a matter of time. We used to talk about everything I helped him out of the depths of despair from the loss of his fiance and he helped me through the loss of not only his current GF, but the last hard love story and more. It was not a matter of ignorance that lead to this. I guess we will see what happens, but for now I remain patient that what they have will end or we will simply move apart and lose sight of the friendship we had for the assumed love of another. A Bromance failed to the hope of romance. Seems the older I get the more friends I lose to coupling.
So in closing this is why you never go after a Best Friends X! Even if it was something that just didnt pan out. Its a ridiculously dick move. Its like saying, Hey! That thing that didnt work for you is totally working for me. For now it is and then you get to suffer the great awkward silence. Trust me, I was there I know exactly how this will end. I dont even have to guess because I lived that crazy. A crazy that my roommate pulled me out of. Will I pull him out this time? Will I be there to help him up after this falls apart in his face. Yeah! Cause Im his best friend. Will I give him more shit than ever for failing to follow the Bro-code! You better believe it. He will owe me big time. Now to sit back and watch it all unravel with a smile on my face. I dont think thats wrong? Any of you guys out there ever deal with a situation like this?
PS. I hate the word BRO!!!
When I got into my new relationship, I never fathomed that it would be an old relationship that would cause me most of the drama in the new one. Remember my previous posts about the girl that I wasn't really in a relationship with, but somehow still felt like a relationship. Well 5 months into my now much better relationship. One not filled with drama, wonder, and misconception. I find out my Roommate and best friend has been"talking" to the girl I used to like.
Thus enters the Bro-code and mock it all you like, the Bro-code has protected male relationships for years. Rule one of that code is never date your best friend"s X. Number 150 in, How I Met Your Mothers Bro-Bible by Barney. So he wondered since the two of us never really dated if it was cool if they started something. I said straight up, "That would be weird as all fuck!" Adding to that, as I talked with both of them about this matter. That this made my girlfriend uncomfortable even. It made me very uncomfortable and that it was just fucking weird. My roommate has never violated the Bro-code no matter how many of my X's he found attractive and it's been a few. So why the sudden change? What would cause him to forsake the 10 year friendship we had, compromise a living situation, and put a serious strain on my current relationship? Lust to begin with I imagine, she is attractive. Then, I imagine feelings which came later, but sooner than they should have were the real hook. Due to the amount of time she had spent at our house previously, he was comfortable with her. He was able to let his guard down. However, becoming recently un-engaged the amount of mental instability that was being brought into this new relationship spells out ruin. They are both stubborn and so far Im about 100% right when it comes to calling how his relationships will pan out. I've grown to accept this weird living situation, I keep to my room or my GF's house any more. In my current relationship we decided or more so forced ourselves into thinking that we had to accept it and not let their actions affect the relationship we have. So that's a thing.
Worst part of this whole debacle is I have in so many words lost a good friend to a girl that I was also friends with. In one swift move I lost two friends. The girl wasnt a horrible loss, she had already bolted for the guy after me and disappeared once. My roommate though... Oh, I'm still cordial with them, but hanging out just isn't the same. She is always there... another oddity as he dumped the previous girl for being too clingy. It's just fucking awkward. They both had asked me if I was ok with it and after saying I wasn't really and neither was my girlfriend: they did it anyway. Just like that and they feel it too. She said at one time that she wasnt going to give up her happiness to please my girlfriend or me. Go figure. A once very close friendship with my roommate has come to bare essential head nods, hellos, goodbyes, and the obligatory casual conversation. I guarantee we wont be able to have real conversations until shes gone. Oh, and shell be gone. Thats just a matter of time. We used to talk about everything I helped him out of the depths of despair from the loss of his fiance and he helped me through the loss of not only his current GF, but the last hard love story and more. It was not a matter of ignorance that lead to this. I guess we will see what happens, but for now I remain patient that what they have will end or we will simply move apart and lose sight of the friendship we had for the assumed love of another. A Bromance failed to the hope of romance. Seems the older I get the more friends I lose to coupling.
So in closing this is why you never go after a Best Friends X! Even if it was something that just didnt pan out. Its a ridiculously dick move. Its like saying, Hey! That thing that didnt work for you is totally working for me. For now it is and then you get to suffer the great awkward silence. Trust me, I was there I know exactly how this will end. I dont even have to guess because I lived that crazy. A crazy that my roommate pulled me out of. Will I pull him out this time? Will I be there to help him up after this falls apart in his face. Yeah! Cause Im his best friend. Will I give him more shit than ever for failing to follow the Bro-code! You better believe it. He will owe me big time. Now to sit back and watch it all unravel with a smile on my face. I dont think thats wrong? Any of you guys out there ever deal with a situation like this?
PS. I hate the word BRO!!!